The Scorned King
by kataract52
Summary: Nate Grey's lost his Omega-level powers and has been offered a place on Utopia. While struggling to define his role, his powers slowly return and open a whole new world.
1. The Scorned King

**Author's Notes:** Nate Grey is one of Marvel's best-but-underused characters. Since they *refuse* to give him a role, I've taken up the task. A lot of these ideas aren't mine, but suggestions I've seen on various forums. I haven't plagiarized: nothing was written out. If there's anything you'd like to see in Nate's story, please leave the suggestion in a review. My tale picks up in New Mutants (3rd Series) #25 when he's rescued from the Sugar Man and accepted with the X-Men on Utopia. From that point, things start to go in a different direction.

* * *

 _When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,  
I all alone beweep my outcast state,  
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,  
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,  
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,  
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,  
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,  
With what I might enjoy least;  
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,  
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,  
Like to the lark at break of day arising  
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;  
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings  
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.  
~Shakespeare's Sonnet 29_

 **The Scorned King**

The death of a reality may not seem like the logical beginning of a story, but that is indeed where Nate's began. Imagine him, if you will. He's an American of average size and height in peak physical shape. Although a mutant, he lacks the extraordinary characteristics that mark so many of his race. His only identifying mark is a lock of white fringe above blue eyes, which sometimes flash in anger. But beneath his ordinary face lurks the power to create or destroy life and every element within it.

" _This is your home…"_ Cyclops said awkwardly.

And what a home it was! Magneto's old space fortress had crashed off the coast of California and, like the mutant race itself, was constantly in danger of going under. They couldn't grow their own food or build their own supplies. Enemies besieged them daily. Nate knew how _lucky_ he was to escape a dystopian alternate universe for this shit hole.

Whatever vague intentions Scott had towards his genetic prodigy crumbled like all his promises. Unless Nate was in immediate danger of being possessed by a cosmic firebird, he wasn't noticed. Days passed. It was only a matter of time before Utopia started throwing people off to lighten the load or turned to cannibalism. When that happened, Nate wasn't going to be the easiest target.

His mental superpowers had been stripped away by an ugly little monster called Sugar Man and his Omega Machine. From now on, if Nate wanted to defend himself, he'd have to do it the caveman way.

He began weapons training with Hope. That's right, his teenaged step-aunt-or-something taught him how to wield a sword, fire a gun, and improvise any blunt or semi-sharp object to an instrument of harm. She knew loads, but her teaching method left a lot to be desired. For instance, she wanted him to use sights to aim but he found it easier without them. And every time he got hurt, she'd roll her eyes and sigh: _"It's not a_ _ **toy**_ _, Nathaniel."_ That was real fucking helpful.

She wasn't so great at hand-to-hand, so for that, he turned to the Iron Fist. Danny Rand agreed to come daily via holographic projection (as long as his superheroing didn't interfere), and Nate was stoked. _Finally,_ he thought, _Cyclops will take me seriously._

But Danny spent the first thousand sessions focused on _breathing_! Unlike Hope, who bounced onto the next task as soon as Nate learned one, Danny made him do the same thing over and over. And over. He rambled endlessly about things like _discipline_ and _harmony_. So much for being the Kung Fu master.

After several weeks, they progressed to _focus_ (bad guys, beware!) and Nate discovered he could tap into his telepathy and telekinesis. Overjoyed, he wept. He hadn't been able to use his powers in _ages_. He was eager to test his limits, but once more, Danny advised caution.

"You can't chase power. Well – you _can_ , but you'll never _catch_ it. You've gotta _grow_ into power. Be patient."

The others noticed his improvements in Danger Room training sessions. Mild buzz generated, but next to the White Queen and Psylocke, he paled in comparison. Which highlighted another problem…

His telepathy. _That_ needed improvement, too.

Ask his father's silicon lover for help? Or her teenaged clones? He'd sooner hang himself, which was a tempting option, but no. There was a _particular_ telepath he wanted.

" _Jean…?"_

Last time he tried this, he accidentally brought Maddie back from the dead.

" _Not Maddie. Jean, can you hear me?"_

She'd been dead for months now.

" _Jean, please… I need your help."_

Nothing.

One day Danny vanished – superheroes did that from time to time. Nate continued to practice his breathing, focus, and mediation, but he also incorporated his mutant powers and his control grew.

Something magical unfolded in his sleep. He awoke with memories that were not his own of places and people that couldn't exist on this world. It was thrilling. This time, he decided _not_ to seek out a more experienced hand to guide him. He wanted to shock everyone at the next Danger Room training session with this incredible power that he'd cultivated entirely on his own. Cyclops would sprint across the island to watch with slack-jaw wonder. He'd quickly assign Nate a team, eager to tap this previously unseen powerhouse. Together they'd strive to pave a smoother road-

"Hey! X-Man! We've got work to do."

He opened his eyes and saw Dani "Mirage" Moonstar standing in his doorway.

"I'm occupied _here_ , thank you." He said.

"Boxes need unloaded. I'm pretty sure you can do whatever you're doing now _and_ unload boxes."

He'd been intentionally ignoring all the problems around him, but judging by her response, that was not a socially acceptable reason to decline his assistance. So he yielded. Using his _hands_ like a common _Homo sapiens_ , he helped her and Sam stock the pantry and take an inventory. She grinned.

"Why are you so pleased?" he grumbled.

Her grin spread widely across her face. "Can you keep a secret?" She leaned close and whispered, "Cyclops is forming a team and asked _me_ to lead it."

* * *

"Aww, come on, Mr. Doom-and-Gloom," Hope teased, tickling his nose with her finger tip. "Won't get your own team by _sulking_."

Nate swatted her away. "If you want to help, smother me with that pillow."

She leaned on him like the world's most lumpy recliner. "I know it's tough. You used to be so powerful that your body was literally coming undone. Now you're just another telepath. Who wants to live forever when things are so mediocre, am I right? Hey," she hugged him, "if it's any consolation, you're an Omega level self-pity-er."

"You're not helping," he shoved her away.

Frustrated, she stormed away. At the door, she turned and sneered: "Neither are you!"

Although his abilities were growing, he'd never be as powerful as he'd once been. Unless he was at the top of his field – which would never happen – the X-Men had no use for him. Those at the very bottom were mentored and protected, but people like Nate, neither great nor helpless, were usually cannon fodder. He'd been living under the illusion that he could do something – _anything_ – to knock his father off his feet and earn his… not love… _Respect_. That's all he wanted. To be validated.

It would never happen now.

His mutations were like a tree that had been badly damaged and could no longer grow towards the sky. As his power returned, it twisted towards the sun and formed a different shape. He was an anomaly. There was no place for him in the X-Men's carefully groomed garden, so he was left to grow wild in the wood.

Disillusioned, he turned inward more and more. He still trained, of course, but no one paid him any special attention and he didn't try to change that. His urgency had been replaced by curiosity. What was he becoming? And where could he apply that if not the X-Men?

* * *

" _Am I hurt?" she asked._

" _You're bleeding," Nate said, "Can you remove your jacket?"_

The walls between dimensions were breaking down, which was new and terrifying. When he'd been at peak performance, he could easily look across time and into people's minds; give physical form to minds; distort reality; and he controlled all of these things with his thoughts. But seeing another dimension? This was dangerous stuff. If the X-Men found out, they'd be concerned for the integrity of the barriers. What if he was inadvertently destroying reality?

 _She struggled. "No. Give me a hand."_

 _When he helped her out of her jacket, he saw a compound fracture of the collarbone._

Nate started violently and the vision ended. He tried to collect his bearings. She was only a dream: vivid, profound, and ethereal. But something in her had possessed him and he couldn't get her out of his mind.

" _Is something wrong?"_

" _Honey, we've got to get you to the hospital."_

" _What's wrong?"_

"Everything, honey. Everything's wrong."

 _She looked around. "Did you hear that?"_

She'd _heard_ him! That meant he was becoming a part of her reality.

Realities, universes, dimensions… They weren't important. Not in the grand scheme of things. Sure, Cyclops would disagree and his army would happily uphold his decisions, but Nate had seen worlds come and go, and what difference did it make? Not one iota.

"So what's changed?" Danny asked when their lessons resumed.

Nate hadn't seen him in months, so he reported recent history of Utopia. "An undead army attacked. Some mutants returned from the dead. You know, usual X-Men stuff."

"I meant with _you_."

"Me? Nothing's changed for me. Oh, my hair cut! I was a little concerned about potential fight hazard, but Psylocke assured me-"

"It's not your hair!" Danny snapped. "You're holding on to something. It's like a boulder in a stream, everything has to move around it. Your focus is… Is it a woman?"

Nate crossed his arms. "If _celibacy's_ part of your training, I'll have no part of it."

"All things in moderation. Every bad decision is born of anger, desire, or fear. When you eliminate those things from the decision process, you act in _wisdom_."

"Wise men never fall in love. Isn't that what they say?"

"Love? It's serious then. You should've warned me. I know how hard it is to focus on clearing your thoughts when there's tail to chase."

He flushed and denied it, but it was true.

He loved her.

Which was crazy, right? People didn't fall in love with strangers who didn't know they even existed… Except when they did.

If he wasn't training, his mind was away, peering into a time and place where she lived. Her world had become as vivid to him as his own.

" _I love you," Nate said over the phone. The heel of his hand was pressed hard against his eyes. "I'm sorry, I know it complicates things and I shouldn't say it, but I've loved you for years."_

" _You love_ _ **sex**_ _," she sneered. "_ _ **I'm**_ _sorry_ _ **you**_ _can't tell the difference!"_

 _Later, they held each other and she confessed: "I love you, too. I think I've always loved you."_

 _Alex Summers, the sometimes X-Man known as Havok, said: "She used you, son."_

"No."

" _After she was done with you, she'd sneak into the lab and use our teleporter to move goods to Afghanistan. She moved hundreds of thousands of dollars of weapons into enemy hands, and_ _ **worse**_ _, set_ _ **you**_ _up to take the fall."_

 _Long, long ago, after she'd broken her collarbone, he helped her into the car. Gingerly, he buckled her safety belt and adjusted the strap so it wasn't rubbing against her arm, which was now in a sling. She was pale from surgery and blood loss, but she smiled so sweetly that his heart broke. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He wanted to kiss her lips. Chicken shit._

Nate tried to possess the body of his alternate-reality self. He yearned to press his lips to hers, and although _that_ Nate wanted it, too, he wouldn't surrender his free will.

Something wet and oily spilled from his nostrils.

A _nosebleed_?!

Holding his nose, he dashed into the bathroom. He pressed a fistful of tissue against the bleeding nostril and looked at himself in the mirror. What did he see? The stern face of a leader who'd never led; baby-blue eyes on a man conceived and artificially aged in a test-tube; brown hair crowned in white to give him the appearance of wisdom; and a body in peak physical condition that did bugger-all except please the eye. Tears coursed down his face. He hadn't had a nosebleed in _years_ , not since his Omega-level days when his body would break under the telepathic strain. It only happened a few times. Once with Cable, another time with Holocaust, and of course with Onslaught… It always meant the same thing: his powers were killing him.

Furious, he wiped away his tears. Hope was right; his self-pity wasn't serving anyone.

Time to man the fuck up.

…

 _To Be Continued…_


	2. Enter Rachel

**Chapter Two: Enter Rachel (or Nate Takes Charge)**

Rather unceremoniously, he declared he was leaving. No one was alarmed until he told Scott not to follow or call. (Totally unnecessary, but he enjoyed the illusion of making the decision.)

With Xavier AWOL and Dr. MacTaggert dead, Nate didn't have a trustworthy expert to turn to in his hour of need. On a bit of a lark, he crashed with his other-dimensional sister, Rachel. She lacked the uber-control-freak-disguised-as-altruism prevalent in so many of his friends. When he set boundaries, he trusted her to respect them.

"Of course you can stay!" She said. "You'll have to take the couch."

"Fine."

"And you'll need a job."

"A what now?"

She smirked. "I know it'll be tough, but I can't pay the bills a sob story."

"I'm sick. I came to you for help!"

" _Waaah! Waaah!"_ She cried obnoxiously like an infant. "That's all I hear."

"I could be _dying_!"

"Then you'll _definitely_ need a job. List me as your beneficiary so I can give you a decent burial."

"Are you even going to _pretend_ to help me?" He crossed his arms.

"Stop being so melodramatic. Come have a seat and tell big sis all about your problems."

"Could you please not sit on my bed?"

"Jesus!" She rolled her eyes and moved from the couch to the window-sill. The apartment was tiny; one bedroom, a closet bathroom, and no closets. Her "kitchen" doubled as a storage place for her books and shoes. And _this_ was to be his home…

He sighed. "My powers are returning."

"Really? That's fantastic!"

"No one knows and I don't want them to."

"Okay. May I ask why?"

"Because… I've been seeing somethings and I'm not entirely sure they really exist."

She nodded slowly. "Like what?"

"There's… this… _girl_ …" He waited for her to react but she didn't. "I see her at all points in her life. And I'm there – that universe's me is there. And we… love her."

"Can they see you?"

"No," he said. "But she _heard_ me today. Then my nose started bleeding."

Her spine buckled and her eyes filled with sorrow. Good! She was finally taking this _seriously_!

"I'm sure it's nothing," he said modestly. "The nose bleed, I mean, not her. Can you help me reach her?"

"… _That's_ what you want help with?"

His face burned as he nodded.

"This is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard," she said, "But I'm glad you came to me. We have a _lot_ of enemies. This is probably a trap. Are you okay to do this now?"

"Let's get started."

 _On a tropical beach, half a dozen school-aged children ran into the surf. The adults set up their towels and umbrellas. Emma and Scott were among them and she shouted: "Stay where I can see you!" to the rowdy kids. Nate sat with his tablet and immediately got to work, seemingly oblivious to the beautiful day around him. But periodically, his eyes strayed to the blond bombshell in a red bikini beside him._

"I can see why you like her," Ray said.

"It's not… not like that…" Nate shook his head, unable to take his eyes off the thin triangles of fabric over her breasts.

 _When she sat up, he could see the shape of her nipples protruding through, and the top threatened to break as she dug a small hole beneath her towel. She laid her towel over it and then lay so that her breasts fit into the newly-dug spot. With a content sigh, she murmured, "That's better."_

"She has Gambit's eyes," she remarked.

"She does?"

"Have your eyes ever gotten higher than _this_?" she asked, pointing to her chest.

He scowled. "I don't gaze in the eyes of other men, _Rachel_!"

She closed her eyes and obnoxiously stuck out her jaw. "What color are my eyes, _Nathaniel_?"

"Ha! Trick question! They change color."

"They're _green_!" she snarled.

"So they are."

She threw her hands up in exasperation. " _Men!_ On the bright side, you're not crazy. This dimension is legit."

"Isn't it beautiful? Don't you wish we could stay?"

"And see _Emma_ every day? No thanks. We have beaches at home, you know."

"None to rival this," he watched her porcelain skin turn pink. Sand dusted her backside and would leave reverse freckles after she burned.

"What's her name?"

"Everyone calls her 'On."

"Like… short for 'Anya'?"

"Maybe."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, you're in love alright! This isn't _lust_ at all! We have beautiful women back home, too."

"I've got a better chance with this one since she can't hear me."

Her frustration melted to laughter and then reformed as sorrow. "What are you hoping for?"

"Love has no goal. It's merely an impulse we're enslaved to."

That night, they began tethering his mind to hers. Rachel's strength kept him anchored in reality, but it also chafed. Nothing in his life equaled the enjoyment of seeing 'On – a thrill that weakened with a chaperon.

* * *

Ray wasn't joking about him getting a job. He tried his hand at dog walking, house-sitting, and as a mail-room clerk, but he wasn't cut out for traditional occupations. On rainy days, he refused to walk dogs, he usually forgot which house he was supposed to be tending, and was terminated from the mailroom for defacing a motivational poster. Honestly, the cheery man's eyes followed Nate everywhere he went. That thing _deserved_ to be destroyed; it was supernatural!

Finally, she pulled some strings and got him a job filing paperwork in a lawyer's office. The last guy must've been thumbless because the files were literally stacked to the ceiling. Well, if the work had waited this long, he figured it could wait a little longer. He hit up the local coffee shop and met some free-spirited college students who invited him to share poetry. Who was he to refuse? It was a lovely experience; he didn't regret going, but his boss was waiting to fire him the second he returned.

He couldn't go home and tell Ray. She'd be so disappointed. He was _tired_ of failing of people. Why couldn't he do something great like all the other superheroes? He'd _done_ the training; he'd _suffered_ his life-altering trauma… When did it _finally_ come together?

At the park, he flipped through a newspaper and saw a missing persons' flyer.

" _This_ is how I'm going to help people!"

Ray pursed her lips. "You got _fired_ again, didn't you?"

"A small, dark office for tedious, repetitious tasks… Come on, that's not me. _This!_ is me. I'm psychic and telepathic. What could go wrong?"

"Okay, but you can't just take people's money and tell them where their loved one's hidden. You have to be licensed by the State."

"Or _do_ I?"

"You do. I won't harbor a tax evader. Mutants face enough prejudice without _you_ giving them ammunition."

"Very well. I'll render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's but what's-her-face needs help _now_."

She smiled softly. "I like this you. Ambitious. Selfless. You should be this way more often."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but Spider-Man's lectured me about the dangers of incest and I've decided to abstain."

Her face scrunched. " _What?!_ Gross!"

"Calm yourself, I was never attracted to _you_. Madelyne and I-"

"I don't wanna hear this! Get out of here and call what's-her-face's family, you perv!"

* * *

"Brandi was always such a good girl," her mother sobbed. "I don't know _who_ would want to _hurt_ her!"

"Mrs. Cornell," said Nate, "I'm not a cop. I'll find your daughter no matter what kind of girl she was. I'm psychic, remember? You can speak the truth. I won't think any less of your or Brandi."

She swallowed thickly and wiped her tears away. "She had a boyfriend. Who was married. The cops talked to him, searched his house, never found a thing. But I _know_ he's behind it."

"You think he killed her?"

Her chin trembled. " _You're_ the fortune-teller. What do you think?"

" _Son, I've got some bad news about Honor," Nate's father said over the phone. His mother rounded the corner, looking concerned. "She's missing. Just walked out in the middle of the night. Her parents asked me to take over the search. I'll give you a call as soon as I know something. She didn't mention anything to_ _ **you**_ _, did she? Something she wanted that her parents disapproved of..?"_

Nate rubbed his eyes. "I'll pay him a visit and see what I can find."

Honor. A beautiful name for a beautiful lady. It was sweet torture to be so near, see her so often, and yet remain unseen.

Ray would've lost her shit if she knew he'd slipped her leash. She wanted to chaperon and limit his visits. She was worried he'd lose his bearings if he traversed too often. Determined he knew better, he started sneaking off… Only to realize she was right. He could no longer control when he slipped between dimensions. As scary as it was to lose control, he'd sooner die than admit he'd been wrong.

To master his powers, he first had to master his thoughts... He had to stay _focused_ on this world.

Perhaps Brandi would prove a suitable distraction.

"We already talked to the cops!" The wife of Brandi's ex-boyfriend said. "Why can't you leave us alone?!"

She slammed the door in his face.

He touched the door knob and saw that Brandi had indeed been here… And left alive. No murderous hand had touched this house before him.

"Could I see her _things_ , Mrs. Cornell?"

He touched the corner of her neatly-made bed and saw a heavy man corner Brandi. _"You wanna be responsible for their deaths?" He showed her pictures of her mother and boyfriend. "Do this. Or they die. As easy as I took these pictures, I can take their lives."_

When he touched her nightstand, he saw that she usually hid her drugs there. They were all gone now, of course. She'd cleaned house before leaving in a panic. For the docks. He wrestled with telling her mother Brandi was alive, and ultimately decided against it. Just because she'd _left_ alive didn't mean she _stayed_ that way.

 _Honor sat on a bed watching TV. Or more accurately, listening to the TV. Thick bandages covered her eyes and fingers. She turned her head in his direction. "Who's there?" He didn't answer. "Nathan?" she whispered. Her bottom lip trembled and she said, "Are you dead?" He slowly backed out of the room as she curled up and sobbed._

 _Much later, they were in a different corner of the globe. The air was thick with death. She lay in a hospital bed; him, at her side and holding her arm. They both appeared asleep but he doubted that was the case. Then he saw another Honor standing at the foot of the bed. She turned to him. "You're not my Nate."_

" _No… You can see me?"_

 _She looked at herself in the bed. "They need to hurry. I don't want to die but I can't wait much longer."_

" _You're in the hospital a lot."_

 _She laughed. "I hit life full-force."_

 _Deciding to do the same, he tilted his face up and softly kissed her bottom lip. Her eyes widened and he kissed her again, this time more squarely on the mouth. She tentatively kissed him back. Her hands lifted, her fingers flexed, and pulled back as if she was unsure what to do with them. Had she never kissed a man before?_

At the docks, a lot of people shouted at him "you're trespassing!" and "you aren't supposed to be here!" but no one bothered to stop him. Brandi had come this way. He could barely see her imprint in the time stream, but he vividly felt her fear. She'd picked up two big suitcases and boarded a cargo vessel illegally. That boat was long gone.

Well, shit.

"Hey buddy! You lost?" someone shouted.

"Agent Chris Carter, DEA," he said with an air of authority. "A cargo ship was here three days ago. What was its destination?"

"I… Couldn't say. We get hundreds of boats. Dispatch might know."

He thanked the man and used his telepathy to convince the dispatcher he had the authority of the law to review the traffic logs. Two vessels were suspect, but one went to Seattle and the other to Mexico. He put his money on the later.

Using the dispatcher's phone, he called his sister and told her that he was following Brandi to Mexico.

"Wait for me," she instructed. "There's safety in numbers."

"The only thing you're gonna knock out is an army of margaritas."

"My couch is nicer than a park bench! I'll be there in fifteen. _Wait_."

Sisters were so obnoxious.

When she showed up in a bright floral dress and flip-flops that loudly slapped her feet, he wanted to push her into the harbor.

"We're supposed to be DEA agents!"

She looked confused. "Wouldn't we be _undercover_?"

"That's actually… I hate you. Let's go."

…

 _To Be Continued…_


	3. Enter Brandi

**Chapter Three: Enter Brandi (or It Hits the Fan)**

He wanted to sleep on the flight, but Ray wouldn't stop talking.

"Eye masks have a universal meaning," he said.

"I know you kissed her."

He lifted his mask and opened an eye. "How?"

"Men are so _transparent_. Wanna talk about it?" she asked sweetly. "I know you're confused… Maybe I could help. Been helpful _so far_ , haven't I?"

He pushed the mask up to his crown. "How can a woman _so_ beautiful be _such_ a bad kisser?"

"Maybe she's not into you."

"Have you _seen_ my abs? What's not to like?"

Obnoxious laughter exploded from her mouth, throwing spittle in his face. "Sorry, I-"

"Go away, I'm going to sleep." He pulled his mask down.

"Don't be like that, Nate. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

He sighed deeply and wondered aloud, "What's _wrong_ with me? All the attainable girls bore me… The only woman I ever loved was my _mother's clone_. And now I'm _obsessed_ with a girl who thinks I'm a figment of her imagination and she may as well be to me!... I'm _brain damaged_ , aren't I?"

She patted his arm. "Your life's been anything but normal. Cut yourself some slack. You're a good person and you deserve to be happy. Incestuous or imaginary or whatever floats your boat."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You think she's not into me?"

She looked pained. "Look, you don't really know her and she doesn't know you at all. It's easy to build someone up in your mind. You think she's your _destiny_ , but she's only a person. She has dreams and faults like anyone else. To her, you're a guy she _just_ met. Don't you think you came on a little… _strong_?"

"Perhaps. I sometimes find it difficult… I don't know how to communicate like normal people."

"You can love her without being… _clingy_."

He nodded sagely as if he understood, but he was more confused than ever. Why did women have to be so contrary?

* * *

Fortunately, tracking Brandi proved a straightforward task. They began by telepathically scanning dock workers and customs inspectors. It was dull, tedious work, but they finally picked up her trail again. Nate followed her imprints to a heavily guarded factory in a run-down town.

"They've only got guns and locks," said Ray, "No superhuman defenses. This'll be a piece of cake."

They put two scouts to sleep, hid them, and then used their telepathy to assume their identities. When the others looked at them, they saw the two armed guards, not two gringos. Obviously, Nate and Ray couldn't ask for directions or appear confused, but they were wandering and the workers noticed.

"Something's not right," he murmured.

They'd been picking clues off the unaware minds around them, and Brandi had definitely been here… But no one wanted to accept it. What were they afraid of?

"Look at the product," she whispered.

They were liquefying powder and pouring hot, orange-ish liquid into metal tanks. No one knew what they were making, but it _definitely_ wasn't narcotics.

"There!" he gestured with his chin. Brandi's imprint was so fresh he could practically feel her body warmth. "She's in there."

They approached the door and two big men stepped between them and their target.

" _What the hell do you think you're doing?"_ one of them asked.

Rachel touched her temple. "We're supposed to go in."

Their faces relaxed and they stepped aside.

As soon as the duo entered, they froze everyone who wasn't the girl. Two men were looking out a window, wondering where the scouts had vanished. Five more were circled around a table. All of them were heavily armed.

" _What the hell?"_ A petite brunette stepped away from the circle of men, looked around in confusion, and then laid eyes on the "scouts". Ray and Nate dropped their disguises and she gasped.

"Brandi, we're here to take you home," he said.

" _I don't think so,"_ she sneered and pulled a firearm from her waistband.

Before she could pull the trigger, they both attacked her mind. They'd only meant to defend themselves, but the combined assault knocked her out cold. After the briefest of considerations, they carried her out telekinetically. Nate, the weaker one, struggled to run while supporting the girl's feet. He kept dropping them in the dirt.

Irritated, Ray took Brandi and lifted Nate, too. "Can you keep up _now_?"

"Unhand me!"

She obliged and he belly-flopped on the ground.

Before he could complain, gunshots fired and bullets bit into the ground around them. Nate turned and in a flash, telekinetically knocked down the snipers.

"Would you _stop_ that?!" his sister hissed.

" _You_ stop it!"

Anxious and irritated, they struggled back to the highway where their rental car was parked. More gunshots whizzed by as they peeled away.

"We need to get her home ASAP," he said.

"How? She doesn't have a passport. All the illegal routes could be watched by her kidnappers."

"Our old friend." He tapped his temple.

She rolled her eyes.

Brandi came to her senses in the car. She admitted that she'd been blackmailed into transporting goods across the border, but she didn't know what she was carrying. At the drop off site, there'd been an altercation when someone accused her of stealing. In self-defense, she grabbed a gun and killed her handlers. But that was hardly the end of her troubles. The men who'd been guarding the perimeter came when they heard gunshots. Through pure bravado, she managed to convince them she wasn't a random mule but the legendary and mysterious 'Godmother of Death'. Said she knew these men had been stealing from her and once she caught them red-handed, she didn't hesitate to act.

What began as a desperate ploy for survival spiraled into a hungry grab for power. Everyone looked to her for orders. It was a welcome change from her dead-end life, and dangerous or not, she wasn't willing to surrender it.

"You guys don't know what it's like for me back there," she said. "My mom doesn't love me. She didn't even _want_ me. She only reported my disappearance because she wants to hurt Bruce. That's who she blamed, isn't it?"

"Is that your married boyfriend?" Nate asked.

"He's going to leave his wife! He's just waiting till after Christmas so the kids aren't upset."

"Funny," he said, "I don't see _Bruce_ here. And _Bruce_ didn't hire us. Or even _try_ to help us find you! You are a _terrible_ judge of character."

"Fine, I'll go home, but I need to go back and settle things at the factory first."

"You _need_ to?" Ray asked.

"Yes! I _need_ to! We've got a big delivery coming up and if no one's in charge, they'll fumble it! It's a million dollars. I'll split it with you fifty-fifty. That's an easy two-hundred-fifty thousand each. All you have to do is let me stay _one more day!_ "

The siblings exchange a look.

"What's the delivery?" he asked.

"Noneya business, that's what."

"We know it's not drugs," Ray said. "What's the product?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I don't know! Some kind of chemical compound they call 'Omega Fuel'."

A chill ran up his spine and Ray gasped, looking at him in the rear-view mirror. Telepathically, she said to him: _'For the Omega Machine? Can't be… Sugar Man's_ _ **gone**_ _.'_

Nate's short life had a lot of lows, but being drained down to nothing by the Sugar Man's Omega Machine took the prize. He'd lost track of time down there. How long had he been forgotten? Abandoned by the Dark X-Men to slow, torturous death. Every heartbeat was unbearable agony until Dani and her team finally rescued him. By then, the Sugar Man's machine had enough power to open a portal to another dimension and he escaped justice. The "battery" was an Omega level mutant, but if it had been altered to accept another power source, there was no telling what could be accomplished. Nate doubted any good would ever come from it.

"Okay," he said. "Let's make the exchange."

Brandi lit up. "Really?"

Weary, Ray turned the car around.

"What're you guys gonna do with your share?" she bubbled. "I'm gonna buy a house with four bedrooms. Then Bruce won't have to worry about his wife getting their home. And when his kids visit, they'll have a place to stay, too."

"How're you gonna explain coming by that much money?" asked Ray.

"Oh, gosh… Hadn't thought of that!"

* * *

The whole thing stank. Headed by an interloper and operated by ignorant workers (but heavily fortified), this hidden factory produced a chemical that could destroy worlds. _Someone_ knew what they were doing. But Nate wanted to discover the truth so badly that he ignored his internal alarm bells, and he took Ray and Brandi with him.

At the exchange the next day, Brandi's team was completely overwhelmed. Outnumbered two to one, they were cut down by soldiers in HYDRA uniforms. The Grey siblings tried to fight and then tried to escape, but were finally caught and taken away in a helicopter. The terrorists brought anti-superhuman weapons, specifically devices against telepaths. They _knew_ who they'd be fighting.

"Wanna kick yourself, don't ya?" his captor taunted. "No worries. It's comin'."

He looked down, trying to see if Brandi had survived. Then he looked at his sister, her brave face scarred with the marks of a Hound. In her youth, she'd been tortured, brainwashed and modified to use her psionic powers to hunt and kill mutants – including her own family. Would they ever be anything more than tools in the hands of monsters?

They were taken to a military base and Nate knew their chances of survival had just dropped. Then they were wheeled into a lab where he saw the Omega Machine, and he knew their chances had vanished. He would sooner die than get back in that thing.

"Look at him! Squirming like a worm on a hook!" someone jeered.

If he could get free, he could free Ray, and she could bring the whole building down on them.

A tall, slender woman in a green and black body-suit entered coolly. Although Nate had never seen her before, he knew she'd been born Ophelia Sarkissian and now answered to 'Viper'. She knew how to hold her own against the Avengers and the X-Men… And Nate was _pitifully_ below that caliber.

"I _wondered_ if a chemical compound would be as _effective_ as organic fuel," she sneered. "Now we'll know!"

Despite struggling hard enough to dislocate bones, he could not escape. Terror black and blinding gripped him.

"Ray!" he shouted, "Give it everything you've got!"

" _What?!_ "

"Trust me!"

"He's trying to overpower the machine," scoffed Viper. " _Someone_ has a high opinion of himself."

It was like gripping a red-hot iron when he wanted to pull away, except the iron wasn't just in his hand. It entombed him like a coffin. And he embraced it. His screams, her screams melded into one.

There was light – sweet and soft and loving.

Was he dead?

" _Nate? What's happening?"_

" _For Christ's sake, help!"_

The red-hot iron coffin dumped him out and he shivered with relief. Without his telepathy, he felt deaf and blind. His body felt awkward without his telekinesis. But he was _alive_ and not in agony.

"Thank you…" he chattered. "… _Thank you_ …"

He was vaguely aware of shouts, gunfire, and explosions, but they sounded far away. His cheek pressed against the lab floor, which felt as lovely as plush.

Someone kicked his ribs. "Move your ass! You, too, Red! Re-enforcements are on the way!"

He struggled to his knees and saw Honor re-loading a stolen firearm. She checked two magazines and then yanked him to his feet.

"Do you still have your powers?" she asked.

He shook his head. Was this a dream..?

"Then you'll need this," she gave him the pistol she'd been re-loading. "How 'bout you, Red?"

"A little weak, but… I'm okay."

"We're going back out to the hanger. Once we're in the air, we're clear. I'm on point. _Nate!_ Stay with me."

Vision swimming, he said: "You're… not armed."

She pointed to the Omega Machine, which was glowing with a purple kinetic charge. And getting brighter. With a smile, she said, "We've got two and half minutes till it blows and it's takin' the place with it. Don't think I won't leave your sorry asses 'cause I will!"

Ray touched her temple and power radiated from her. "Let's do this."

They didn't get far before back-up caught up with them. Without Honor, they wouldn't have stood a chance. She was a spectacular fighter and seemed to know the enemy's actions before _they_ did. But his head was spinning and he couldn't keep up. He went limp and heard Ray say: _"I've got him."_

…

 _To Be Continued…_

…

 **Author's Notes:** Sorry this chapter was a little late getting posted. I'll try to be more consistent – no one likes a story to update willy-nilly. If you enjoyed or disliked something, please let me know in the reviews and thanks for reading.


	4. Enter 'On

**Chapter Four: Enter 'On (or Grey & Grey)**

Honor wasn't exactly thrilled to see him. At the time she crossed over, her world had been in peril. She'd reached out for anything, anyone who could offer hope… And Nate plucked her out. Now that she'd helped him, getting home was her biggest priority, but… He didn't know how to reverse what he'd done. And since she'd destroyed the Omega Machine, her chances were nil to none.

"We'll worry about that later," he said, "Right now we've got to locate Brandi."

"Fuck Brandi! And fuck you!" She stormed away.

He looked to his sister, but Ray shrugged.

"'On, wait-" He chased her across the open field. When the helicopter ran low on fuel, she'd known _exactly_ where to land. From there, they'd tried to formulate a plan. The Greys wanted to find their mark. Honor wanted to march straight to Cyclops for help, and wouldn't delay one minute by helping them get an accidental gang leader home safely.

"Please!" he said, "We _need_ each other."

She stopped abruptly and squared her shoulders but wouldn't look at him.

"Don't make me beg," he said.

She trembled and sobbed, "They're dead. They're all _dead_!"

Tentatively, he put a hand on her shoulder.

"And if you'd been anyone else," she sniffled, "I – I would've killed you, too. For… taking me away."

She turned and folded into his arms. Her breath and tears were hot against his neck. Stroking her hair, he wanted to do more to comfort her, but nothing seemed appropriate. He could've mentioned that his world was gone, too, but it hadn't meant much to him. Sinister's lab, Toad's gang, dystopian war… That was his home world. She'd lost friends, lovers, family. A son.

How pale he seemed in comparison.

"God grant me strength," she quietly prayed. Standing, she composed herself. "We live to fight another day."

* * *

"Stupid-! Fucking-! _Jungle!_ " Brandi cursed, punching at the vines that had ensnared her.

A hand reached from the brush and snatched her fist. She gasped and came face-to-face with her rescuer: the blue-eyed man of ordinary height and extraordinary abilities. A man she owed a quarter of a million dollars…

In the end, he only cleared two-hundred dollars from Brandi's mother, and Ray snatched it up immediately. _'Rent'_ she called it.

"What're we gonna do about _her_ ," he asked, nodding towards Honor.

Ray shrugged. "Since you're paid up, the couch is all _yours_ tonight."

Honor was bored. "Where's Cyclops?"

"Utopia," he said. "An island off California. That's his base of operations but I've no idea if he's in the field."

She nodded. "Then that's where I'm headed." She stood and walked towards the door.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because if I stand still, the weight of everything will crush me." She smiled sadly. "I have to keep moving."

"Let me pack a bag and I'll come with you," he said. "It'll help if I'm there to explain things. He might not trust you."

She agreed to wait and he pulled Ray aside. Alone in her room, he asked her to call ahead to Utopia and ask if they could have Gambit meet her there. Since the Omega Machine re-deux, Nate was completely powerless again. He couldn't communicate telepathically, so he needed Ray's help. She agreed and gave him money for the ferry. He couldn't very well _walk_ to an island.

"Thank you." He tried to hug her but she pulled away with a leery eye. She thought he was being fresh. "Oh, get over yourself!"

In the living room, Honor had fashioned a noose from her belt and was dangling from the crossbeams.

"Oh, shit!" he dove across the room, grabbed her legs, and lifted her so she could breathe. With a thought, Ray cut the leather strap, and Nate collapsed under her weight.

"Have a death-wish, do you?" Ray said. "Then I'm cancelling your road-trip."

"Fuck you!" she coughed and gasped.

"Dad's got his hands full already. Last thing he needs is another loose cannon to babysit. You're staying here until you've earned my trust."

"You can't hold me against my will!"

Cosmic fury blasted from Ray's eyes. " _Watch me!"_

"I don't know what you're so _worried_ about." Honor grabbed the couch and gave it a kinetic charge. If it exploded, it'd be enough to kill them all. "Everyone just needs to _calm the fuck down!_ "

Ray held the fiery particles in place. Then she told Nate telepathically, _'Clear her mind.'_

"Don't do it!" Honor warned him.

' _I can't! I'm_ _ **powerless**_ _!'_

Like flipping a switch, Ray cut off On's access to her memories. It wasn't a permanent solution. Honor was psychic, too, and eventually she'd discover the truth. Maybe she wouldn't remember her old life, but she'd know they'd stolen her memories. It was a violation of her personhood, which was further desecrated when Ray implanted false memories. Honor's mind was so overwhelmed that she passed out.

Ray calmly dismantled the couch-bomb – all without breaking a sweat.

"Unhand her!" he bellowed.

"Calm down, she's only asleep." She rubbed her temples. " _Christ!_ What're we gonna do?"

Since the question seemed rhetorical, he placed Honor on the couch and checked her pulse. "I can't believe you did that…"

"What?"

"False memories?!"

"She's a danger to herself and others!"

"She was wonderful and perfect and you _broke_ her to re-make her into someone more _malleable_!" He shook his head. "It was a mistake to come here."

"Where're you gonna go, Nathaniel? You have _no_ money, _no_ power, and _nowhere_ to live."

He saw that she was considering erasing his memories, too. "Don't even _think_ about it!"

* * *

Honor woke up with a crick in her neck. Bewildered, she realized she'd fallen asleep against a hallway wall. Nate knelt beside her, looking anxious.

"Oh jeez," she said, "I haven't been on a bender like _that_ since middle school!"

He smiled nervously. "Think you can pull it together? We've got an interview."

"Where am I?"

"Here she comes." He quickly pulled her up.

An elderly woman in a second-hand pant-suit approached. "Mr. Grey, lovely to make your acquaintance. I'm so glad your sister recommended us to you. She's been a wonderful tenant, always on time with the rent, never a hassle to anyone. Such a shame we don't have any vacancies on her floor but- Oh, excuse me, who is this?"

"My friend, Honor."

She smiled tightly and said, "If she plans to live here, we'll need to complete a background check on her, too."

"Oh, no. She's just a friend."

Looking doubtful, she unlocked the door and showed them inside. "This is one of our furnished units. One bedroom, one bath. This is enough for one person but if you plan to have a roommate-"

"How much for the month?" he asked.

"We require first and last month's rent up front. Plus a $500 security deposit."

Honor saw his anxious grimace and said, "Excuse me, m'am, but no one's staying here, are they?"

"No. It's empty."

"So… we could stay, couldn't we? No sense in it being empty."

"No, there's no sense in that."

"Thank you so much. Is it alright if we bring the rent by the end of the month? I know that deposit isn't really _necessary_. We're good people, won't be any trouble at all."

"Yes… No, the deposit isn't _necessary_. That's fine. You're decent folks, I can tell."

They shook hands and she left looking distracted but pleased.

Nate asked, "How did you do that?"

Honor's face went from pleased to confused to alarmed. "I – I don't know."

"Saved our butts, whatever you did. I planned to come back at night, but we'd have to bail whenever she came around again." He grasped her hand. "Thank you."

"I know how hard those words can be for you to say," she smirked. "But why did you tell her my name was Honor?"

Her thoughts were open enough that he could see little clues, faint and weak as candle smoke. She thought her name was 'Anya Lynch'… a part-time waitress and seasoned MMA fighter… an abusive ex in Nevada. …Nate was her only friend…

"Trying to protect you," he replied.

…And she'd been harboring a crush on him… Now that the ex was out of the picture, she saw no reason to conceal it anymore.

She smiled. "That's why I love you."

He could _kill_ Ray!

* * *

He spent the next few days avoiding 'On, which wasn't easy when they shared a one-bedroom apartment. Claiming to be job-hunting, he'd waste all day hiding from her _and_ his sister. Come bedtime, he insisted on taking the couch.

"You're being silly," she said, wearing only a smile. "We've only got one blanket. Get in here… Keep me warm."

After that, he stayed out later and later to avoid seeing her entirely. One night she fell asleep on the couch waiting for him, so he made himself comfortable on the bed. Big mistake. As soon as he drifted off, she crawled over him (naked, of course, because she hadn't a set of pajamas). He shot out of the room.

This was hell! His dream girl had materialized, moved in with him, and was begging him to bang her, but he couldn't because her memories had been manipulated. He'd be a monster if he took advantage of their otherwise ideal situation. Desperate, he casually suggested a trip to Utopia and she flipped out. _Surprise_! Ray had placed triggers in her mind around Utopia and the X-Men. 'On couldn't _think_ about them without suffering a full-blown panic attack.

On top of everything else, rent would be due soon. How were they going to come up with $3,000? They were completely broke. After two days without a bite to eat, they found enough change to get a peanut butter fudge sundae and scarfed it down in a parking lot.

"Know what I just realized?" she asked.

"No, what?"

"There's absolutely _no_ nutritional value to this!"

They laughed, hunched so closely together that their noses almost touched. Her dark eyes sparkled and he was achingly grateful to have her. She made his life worthwhile. The powerlessness, the hunger, the constant uncertainty of poverty – even without sex – she was worth it.

* * *

One afternoon while he was hiding in the building's laundry room, Ray cornered him. "Come on, Nate, this is getting ridiculous."

He walked out.

"I know you're angry," she said, following him, "But I did what was necessary to save her life."

"You gave me a time-bomb!" he snarled. "She thinks if she goes to Utopia, she will die."

"She _will_. They'll sort out her memories and then she'll neither find a way back to her home world, which has been destroyed, or she'll kill herself. The fact that she's _afraid_ to die should be a comfort to you."

"That's not your decision to make!"

"I had a _moment_ to act! _One_ moment! Xavier did it a _hundred_ times and no one ever put _him_ on trial! Nate, she has incredible power. She's worth more alive to _everyone_ , not just you. Accept that she's been given a new lease on life. Stop sulking. It's not a tragedy to anyone but you!"

"And her attraction for me? Am I supposed to _thank_ you for it?"

She was disarmed. "What?"

"She thinks she's in love with me!"

Ray smiled slyly and shook her head. "I didn't do that. If she's in love with you, that's _her_ mistake."

" _Impossible_ …"

"Okay, before you go make the two-back beast, I came with a peace offering." She handed him a file of documents.

"What's this?"

"The seeds of Grey & Grey, P.I. I think we make a good team… and you need a job, don't you?"

"I did have a few things lined up, but this looks better."

"Don't lie to me. I'm a telepath."

He reviewed the forms. "You're the senior partner?"

"I think that's fair."

"I need an advance."

* * *

 _Five Years Ago…_

"Don't ask, Nate."

Maddie wasn't the one he wanted, but she was the one he got. When Nate crossed over, he'd subconsciously called out for Jean and accidentally summoned Madelyne from the dead. Things only got more complicated from there.

They _wanted_ each other.

"It's a fair question," he said, jerking her coat off.

She knelt before his erection. "I am what I am. _Take me_ or leave me… I prefer the _former_ , of course."

He'd been expecting a blow job, but instead she tore open a plastic pouch and placed a slick rubber sheath over his member. He was horrified. It seemed like the natural reaction to have.

' _First time our eyes met, same feeling I get  
Only feels much stronger. Wanna love you longer.  
You still turn the fire on-'_

 _Now…_

' _So if you're feelin' lonely, don't.  
You're the only one I'll ever want.  
I only wanna make it good. So if I love you a little more than I should-'_

Nate stood in the "family planning" aisle, looking every bit like the alien he was. Corporate-approved soft-rock music implied a sort of deceptive ease. The options were overwhelming. What was so complicated about it? Should be a simple transaction! Out the corner of his eye, he noticed another shopper coming his way. He quickly made his selection, only to realize the box was wrapped in an impenetrable plastic case. Irritated, he turned it over several times.

The shopper, a woman, had caught up to him and said, "You, uh – you have to take it up front. They'll open it for you there."

"Oh, forget it!" he placed it back on the shelf and wheeled his full cart to the register.

When he asked Ray for an advance on his paycheck, he'd planned to use the money for rent and some for food. Then he wondered how he'd ever get groceries to the apartment without a car or powers. So he arranged for a taxi. Shopping on an empty stomach was his _second_ mistakes; his _first_ was failing to realize they had no cooking utensils, eatery, cleaning accessories, or food additions like butter and salt. So he bought it all. He imagined winning 'On's heart with his hunting/gathering skills… which was how he ended up in the condom aisle.

"Jesus, dude!" the cabbie exclaimed, "Did you buy the whole place?"

"Nearly…" As he transferred his newly acquired bagged goods from cart to car, he had a thought. "I forgot an item. Would you be so kind? I'll give you extra for your troubles."

"Sorry. Can't leave the vehicle. It's a liability."

"I see. Well, you look _exhausted_. Surely that, too, is a liability. Here's a fifty. Why don't you procure yourself a beverage for the road and a box of condoms for me? Keep the change."

He agreed and Nate was fifty dollars further from making rent. That was _future_ Nate's problem, thankfully. _Present_ Nate was only preoccupied with getting his groceries home.

…

 _To Be Continued…_

…

 **Author's Notes:** For more analysis on the ethics of memory tampering, please see _'X-Men and Philosophy'_ by William Irwin. The song from Nate and Maddie's love scene/the grocery store is Bryan Adams's "Please forgive me"… which… if you're banging your mother's clone, you owe someone an apology. And my own apology: the dialogue from their love scene was taken straight from the comics, but I didn't note the issue… Honor is an original character of mine and is featured predominately in my other stories. You don't need to be familiar with those to enjoy this story. Thanks for reading!


	5. Love of a Lifetime

**Chapter Five: Love of a Lifetime (or It Gets Raunchy)**

"Hello? 'On?" He walked into a dark and empty apartment. No note (not that they owned paper or pen, anyway). Her toothbrush, which was her only possession besides her shoes, was missing. She might as well have left a ring on the counter.

In the lobby, he made a collect call to Utopia.

"Nate? Glad to hear from you, son. I was starting to get worried."

"Actually, I was calling for Emma. She there?"

A moment later, she said: "A _telepath_ calling me via _telephone_. I'm suspicious, darling. What's happened?"

"I may or may not have lost my powers again. Let's assume the latter. Could you help me track someone?"

"Of course." She paused and he felt her mind probing his, making sure he wasn't in trouble. He allowed her to pick through his memories: the Omega Machine, his adventure in Mexico, but when she got to the part where 'On crawled into bed with him, he shut her out.

"Would you consider returning?" She said. "At least temporarily. Rent in San Francisco is a _nightmare_ and Scott's been so distracted lately."

"Thanks but I-"

"Won't leave your girlfriend. Got it. She's at a bar downtown called 'The Glass House'. It's a half hour walk for you. If she leaves before you arrive, I'll give you a buzz." She scoffed. "Did Rachel _really_ compare herself to _Charles Xavier_? Amateur. Part of Charles's success is knowing memory isn't a movie. It's a living thing. His alterations became a part of the world and they'll continue even after his death. But Rachel," she said with disgust, " _Rachel_ thinks she can rip out the weeds and erect a statue. It's temporary at best."

"You mean her memories will return."

"I mean that unless she's a complete _moron_ , she'll notice things don't add up. When that happens, bring her to me. I wouldn't recommend correcting anything yourself. This requires an experienced hand."

"Can't you do it now?"

"I wouldn't dare. Until her mind's ready to accept repair, any attempts could result in insanity. Get lost. Collect calls are expensive."

"Wait. And what about… the _ethical_ implications?" He referred to the sex he intended to have with her, not the mind-wipe. Somehow, he knew Emma would know.

"You're asking _me_? Are you hoping for a _blanche cart_?"

"I value your opinion."

In her silence, he heard a joyfully broken heart. "You care for each other. You're consenting adults. What else matters?"

By the time he reached The Glass House, the sun had set. He expected to find 'On at the bar, but not as a _bartender_. She looked amazing: smoky eyes, tight pants, and some sort of shimmery scarf tied over her breasts. Her tip jar over flowed. When she saw him, she dismissed him with a smirk and turned away to flirt with a man in an Armani suit.

"Excuse me," his voice faded into the crowd. "Excuse me!"

Armani placed a folded bill in her ample cleavage, his eyes captivated by hers.

" _Excuse me!"_ Power pulsed through him once, twice, and blew across the room. The mob lapsed into dead silence. One by one, everyone remembered they suddenly had urgent business elsewhere. Last to leave was the manager. He tossed her the keys and told her to lock up.

Nate was exhilarated – his powers were back! – but 'On was pissed.

" _Unbelievable_." She hissed.

Her rage rolled off like heat waves. He picked up sharper details, too, like how she'd planned to use that money for dinner and a hotel room for the night. In a month, she expected to have enough for rent, wardrobe, and a car. Speaking to him was _not_ in her plans.

"What the hell is this?" he asked.

"It's called _a job!_ "

He removed his jacket and draped it over her bare shoulders. It was hard to think when she had so much flesh on display. She threw it on the floor.

"I'm not a _charity case!_ I don't _need_ you to take care of me!"

"That's my only coat!" He quickly picked it up, but too late… It smelled like beer. He cursed under his breath and then added: "And _you're_ my only friend."

She sighed and hugged herself. "I can't be alone with you all the time. It's confusing. I need my own place."

"I bought food. And provisions for the kitchen. May I suggest moving the conversation there? Given the improvements, I believe you'll reconsider moving out."

"You dork," she smiled.

Playfully, she knocked him with her elbow and he wrapped an arm around her. Their faces turned towards each other and their lips came together. She gasped sharply. A warm feeling flooded him, leaving him filled and hungry, peaceful and stimulated. He dared not shatter the moment. Never before, not even in the throes of passion, had he ever felt this way. Like he'd finally come home. They pulled apart and walked home in comfortable silence.

Food in the apartment made her much happier than she'd led him to believe. She immediately began making tacos, which she taught him how to eat.

"How is it you've been living in California for _five years_ and have _never_ eaten a taco?"

"I'm a man of mystery."

Since they had no table, they ate on the couch. And since they had no television or radio, they sat facing each other. Despite her earlier claims, he could tell that the new merchandise pleased her very much. She was at ease, which gave him a boost of confidence.

"I want to apologize if my behavior offended you," he said.

"Oh?" she pretended to be preoccupied with her meal.

"If I tried to seduce someone I loved… And they rejected me, I'd vanish, too."

She avoided his eyes. "Yeah, wasn't how I _thought_ it'd go."

"I have _eyes_ , 'On, _of course_ I wanna make love to you."

"Naughty." A pleased smile snaked across her face.

"I've been mad about you for ages… But you're alone and hurting. It'd be wrong to pursue something with you right now."

" _Would_ it?"

"Would it _not_?"

She shook her head no. "How would making me _not_ lonely be _wrong_? Life doesn't have to be so fucking complicated. Every man I ever touched, I closed my eyes and pretended he was you. Now you're so close and I can't think about anything else."

"Neither can I."

"Kiss me."

She tasted less like lipstick and alcohol this time. More like a _person_. Her fingers threaded his hair, gripping the base of his skull and sending shivers down his spine. When he deepened the kiss, she stopped him and said softly, "Slow down, tiger."

His lips moved down her jaw, which she clearly enjoyed, and when he found the sensitive spot behind her ear, she clung to him for dear life. In a flash, she removed her excuse for a shirt and placed his hands over her bare breasts. God, he hadn't had a lover this demanding since… No, he wouldn't think of her now. It wouldn't be right.

"Let's move this to the bedroom, shall we?" he asked.

"I feel underdressed." She pulled his shirt over his head as they stood.

"Whatever happened to 'slow down, tiger'?"

"Shut up and put your mouth to good use."

Growling, he swept her up and stumbled over his pants as they crumpled on the floor. Beyond the threshold, she dropped on the mattress and lifted her hips to squirm out of her skin-tight pants. The angle presented her curves in the best possible way and he rushed to help strip her garments. That was the first time he noticed her left leg was prosthetic. Propped on her elbows, she smiled and crooked her finger at him. As if he needed an invitation! Then she rolled onto her stomach and presented her backside to him. His lips searched out her warm, creamy skin down her spine to a grotesque star-shaped scar. When she hit life hard, it hit back.

"Roll over," he said.

"That's what _you_ want, not what _I_ want."

She arched her back so that her bottom brushed his erection. On the first date? When he asked "Is this what you want?" he squeezed her ass so that the globes parted slightly and he glimpsed the dark shadow of her anus. His thumb brushed over it.

"Oh yes, yes, yes." Her words beckoned him on. When at last his digit slipped inside her body, she groaned like an animal and pushed against him. "Good boy."

She rolled over and pulled his head down to her pebbled nipples. His lips eagerly parted to kiss her breasts and pull their hardened peaks between his teeth. Once they were fully engorged, he flicked his tongue over the sensitive nub and heard her melt. All the while, his thumb caressed her rectum.

"Oh God, you're good." She opened her legs and his mind hazily cautioned against his strongest desires.

"Wait, wait…" He looked around.

"Lose something?"

" _Damnit!_ Where'd I put the condoms?"

She chuckled and reached under the mattress where she'd hidden an emergency stash. His hands were shaking so badly that it took ages to get it opened and unfurled. By then, his erection had started to fade. She cupped her breasts and twisted her nipples wantonly. He happily assisted, vaguely aware that she'd taken over the condom application.

On her hands and knees, she arched her back again and he slid easily inside. Once more his thumb buried in her cavern, stroking less vigorously than his muted erection. The barrier between them was an affront to humanity, but she appeared more than pleased. Everywhere their flesh touched tingled and he knew passion was burning in their loins, but he felt it like a fire through a wall. Then she reached down to fondle her clitoris and he flushed with satisfaction.

"Are you close?" he asked.

She shook her head no. "I can't… I can't… You feel too good."

He bit back disappointment. "Very well. If this continues… maybe you'll take more than my thumb."

"Yes! Do it!"

He replaced his thumb with two fingers and gently probed her opening. Once she was relaxed, he pressed his pre-lubricated, ribbed-for-her-pleasure, latex-covered cockhead against her and asked, "Are you certain? This is what you want?"

Once more, she dissolved into a frenzy that built stronger and stronger until his girth pressed her to the breaking point. Then she climaxed. Scalding and smothering, her anal walls rolled deliciously along the invasion and he forced himself to withstand it. His testicles drew tight with need. If she could take it, so could he. But once her last spasms subsided, he returned to her natural opening and indulged his fierce desires with brutal thrusts that would've torn her delicate posterior. With a rough cry, he spent himself and collapsed on her back.

Afterwards, they spooned together. She drew lazy circles on his forearm and said, "Anal on the first date… I don't know if you'll never come back or never leave."

"'On, I love you."

She chuckled.

"And don't tell me it's the _sex_ I love," he added. "I wasn't sure before. All the tension clouded my judgement. Now I'm certain. I love you."

She smiled. "I love you, too."

* * *

 _His tormentors had him entombed in darkness. Starting at his feet, they slowly and surgically removed every bone. He felt everything: every torn tendon, ripped muscle, and sliced vein. As he faded away piece by piece, he told himself it was "only" a nightmare._

' _It's not a dream,' they mocked his cries. '_ _ **This**_ _is real. She's a dream. She_ _ **never**_ _existed.'_

* * *

"You forgot coffee filters," she said the next morning.

He kissed her forehead. "I'm sure Ray has some. I'll run upstairs."

"Invite her over, I'm making omelets."

On his way out, he noticed that an envelope had been taped to his door. He read it on his way. By the time he reached her door, he was crestfallen.

"Oh no… What's happened?"

"I've been evicted."

" _What?!"_

"And reported to the authorities for mutant abilities." He handed her the affidavit that he'd been holding. "We can't stay. I've probably placed you in danger, too."

"Where will you go?"

He shrugged. "'On can't even _think_ about Utopia."

"She doesn't know? …Come on, let's put our heads together."

Over omelets and very strong coffee (since he'd forgotten about the filters), they formed a plan of attack. He was due at court in eleven days, at which point the landlady could drop the suit or move forward. 'On seemed sure that if they could come up with the money – first and last months' rent plus the deposit – the lawsuit would drop. But that sum was enormous.

"You'll have to juggle cases," she said. "If you can do five a week…"

" _Five a week?!"_

"Yes, five a week. Take out a bank loan to cover expenses. You're a small business now, you can do that. We need every penny." She looked off into the distance. "But how to cover my half…"

"You were raking in tips last night," he said. "Should reach your goal in no time."

"If every night was _Saturday_ , then yes, but folks aren't very thirsty on _week nights_ … Maybe I can wait during the dinner rush."

"I say we cut our losses. The police will be waiting to arrest us-"

"For _what_?! They can't arrest us for being _mutants_! That's illegal!"

"It's not an _arrest_ if they don't give us our rights! They'll throw us in a pit and Cyclops will leave us there to rot! Think they _won't_? or they _can't_?"

"Guys," Ray stood between them. "Let cooler heads prevail, shall we? Look, Nate, I can't make you stay if you wanna go, but _I_ plan to stay and I think 'On does, too. You're worried about disappearing. I get that. Homeless folks vanish all the time and no one notices. You hold down a job, pay some bills, I promise _someone_ will come after you if you go missing. San Francisco is much more tolerant of mutants. That's why we moved here in the first place! The landlady isn't a monster, she reported you because you used your powers on her and she had no other recourse. She had every right."

He glared at her. "You've got _some nerve_ talking to _me_ about abuse of powers."

"I'm with 'On this time. You've got eleven days to come up with the money, so let's get to work."

…

 _To Be Continued…_

…

 **Author's Notes:** Sorry for any grammatical and/or spelling errors. I usually spend the week between updates checking and re-checking for errors, but this week my son was sick and now I'm sick, too. My brain is so sluggish and primitive that only bright colors and high-pitched sounds are getting through. Time for more Ny-Quil. Cheers!


	6. Enter Dani

**Chapter Six: Enter Dani (or A Decision Is Made)**

He was gone for the next eight days. Cheating spouses, missing dogs, runaway teens, a stolen sex tape of a prominent politician… He saw it all. Situations. Not the sex tape. The frantic pace left no time for rest. Usually, he passed out on the bus or at Ray's place, which doubled as their office. Twice 'On brought them dinner, but he was so exhausted that he literally fell asleep on his plate.

 _Trembling, he crept near the water's edge. A serene night stretched across a placid lake, which he could not resist despite his cold dread of what lay beneath. The glassy surface rippled. Something rushed towards him and his legs wouldn't move!_

"Babe?"

With a deep gasp, he jerked awake. 'On looked alarmed. He hadn't told her about the nightmares. Didn't tell Rachel, either. 'On would have questions that would inevitably lead her to the truth about her origins; and Ray didn't have _time_ to mentor him.

"Sorry," he released a breath and rubbed his face. "Sorry, I'm… Glad you're not a man-eating monster."

"I should've let you sleep."

He'd been exhausted enough to pass out fully clothed, but found the strength to pull her close. Her kisses were so tender, her breath so warm, her flesh so inviting. If it cost his life, he _would_ make love to her. She came with no resistance. This time, she let him deepen the kiss and when he cupped her head, she retaliated by sucking the air from his lungs. How did she do that? Breathless, he wilted below her and she blanketed him with heavy breasts and hungry thighs. All of him wanted to revel in all of her and no manipulation of their bodies satisfied this yearning.

She grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, bringing his face near her cleavage. He didn't wait for an invitation. In one smooth motion, he pushed up her camisole and bra and latched onto a nipple.

She sweetly groaned, "You're very good at that."

Smiling, he moved between her breasts and felt tension building beneath her mildly pleased façade. Why play it cool? His pride didn't stop him from indulging his desires and when his efforts dissolved her indulgent smile into incoherent mewls, pride became immortal in its death.

"Take me," she sighed.

He had to pull away to grab a condom and they both wiggled out of their pants. She waited patiently, knees bent and parted while her long fingers softly scratched the nub above her sex. What a sight! There was no attractive way to suit up and never would be, but hopefully the feelings he evoked were worth the eye sore he presented.

"How do you want me?" she asked.

He settled between her legs. "Just like this."

They groaned as he sank into her depths. Magic, how well they fit together. He pulled her mechanical leg over his waist and kept the other flushed against their bed. Then he rolled the rubber slightly back so his skin rubbed against her burning, erect clitoris. It was impossibly erotic.

This time when he asked "Are you close?" she nodded frantically.

"That's my girl."

"Yes! _All_ yours." She tensed and trembled and sounded surprised when she gasped his name. He memorized every detail. When he got to Heaven – if it existed – nothing there could be more glorious than her face in ecstasy.

"Did you finish?" she asked as he pulled away and removed his condom.

"I hate these things. So much intimacy without giving you all of me. I want you to feel it. May I come on you?"

He would've been content to watch his seed spill across her belly, but she had a better idea. Her lips wrapped around his erection and swallowed his essence. That's when he knew he'd love her forever and hopelessly.

Afterwards, he remained nestled between her thighs and breasts.

She stroked his hair. "What's on your mind, my love? Money?... You can ask."

"Were you successful?"

"I was. And you?"

"Yes." He buried his nose in her neck. "Did you screw anyone for it?"

"No. Considered it, but no."

A flood of emotion overwhelmed him. Relief, blinding rage, self-loathing, and surprisingly, a large share of respect. Attempting to portray indifference, he asked, "Why not?"

"How much would it get me? A hundred bucks? Fifty? I don't know what price I'd put on my dignity, but it's more than that. Besides… I wouldn't do that to you."

He softly pressed his lips to hers and held the kiss. Love sparked between them and simmered down to their cores.

* * *

"… _Another attack on the Mutant Capital, Utopia, last night… You can see behind me, the cleanup is well under way but there's still a lot to do before travel can resume… Mayor Sinclair has requested a state of emergency, no word yet from the Governor's Office…"_

Nate heard the news from a great distance. Clawing his way from sleep took every ounce of will and strength, but at length, his eye lids fluttered open. He'd fallen asleep at his sister's again.

Ray was glued to the television.

"Your cereal's gone soggy," he noticed.

"I can't reach them," she said. "Dad, Storm, Rogue… Hell, I even tried _Emma_. Nothing."

He sat up and patted her back reassuringly. If he hadn't told her about Maddie, she might've been comfortable with a hug. Looked like she needed one. But ever since he'd shared his sexual history, she'd been extremely uneasy with any physical contact. How long was she going to punish him? He wasn't a horndog, for Christ's sake, and Maddie had been _more_ than the proverbial forbidden fruit.

"… _We're getting word now that the attack was_ _ **not**_ _executed by humans. This is coming directly from the Mayor's Office. She wants to reassure mutants that the peace established between the two – uh – the two fractions has_ _ **not**_ _been violated. Now, we don't know if the attack came from other mutants or an alien species-"_

"This is getting me _nowhere_!" She grabbed her hat and scarf. The garments were meant to conceal her identity, not protect her from the balmy California weather. "I'm going. Are you coming with me?"

"No."

If an attack was coming, he wanted to be near 'On and she'd never go to Utopia. Ray looked exasperated, but it was _her_ fault for his girlfriend's fears. He couldn't leave her alone. Besides, rent was due today and he was looking forwarding to punching the landlady with it.

* * *

Vampires. They turned Jubilee and the X-Men went to war. It got so intense that the East coast X-Men joined. While Cyclops was dealing with that, Nate sold blood and sperm to eat between paychecks. 'On started coaching amateur boxers between weekends, when she made most of her money bartending. Whenever she had to work both gigs on the same day, he'd make a point to meet her on the bus so they could ride together. Meanwhile, his father vanquished the undead and received the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

The nightmares grew darker, more frequent, and he felt like they lasted longer and longer even though he slept less and less. His only hope of reprieve was to fall asleep listening to 'On's heartbeat. It was like an organic dreamcatcher, although it tended to inspire the most vivid wet dreams, and thus, they didn't get much sleep.

She struggled weakly as he exposed her breasts and lovingly attended them. Her thighs wrapped around him like a python, presenting her forbidden little orifice for his clumsy fingers. Nearby, he could feel the warm dew of her sex. The smell of it seemed to tease him – no, it _triggered_ him. Without thought or cognizance, he forced his naked erection inside her, and the slick heat welcomed him home. _This_ was what the stars in the heavens yearned for – complete intimacy.

Semi-awake, he realized he wasn't dreaming but didn't care. He laced his fingers with hers before crossing the point of no return.

After that, the Sandman beat a hasty retreat. They laid side-by-side without looking or speaking to each other. Nothing he could say would make him _not_ sound like an asshole. He managed an apology, which she warmly accepted, and he relaxed into requesting a pregnancy test. Like now. Or tomorrow morning at the latest. She chuckled at his ignorance and said she wouldn't be pregnant yet. The process wasn't instantaneous. And since the ship hadn't sailed, they still had time to lock the harbor and prevent a new passenger from coming aboard. It was a simple pill, she said, easily acquired from a pharmacy. She'd used them before.

He kissed her and they fell back to sleep.

"We still don't have coffee filters," she said the next morning. "I wonder how you can _sleep_."

"Grab some from the pharmacy."

Her shoulders squared – a sure sign of her anger.

"Sorry. _Please_ get them when you go to the pharmacy."

"Yeah… About that… I've been thinking and I've decided not to."

Again, trying not to sound like an asshole, he said, "I don't get a say in this?"

"Nate, I'm _thirty-eight years old_. I'll _never_ be rich or successful or – even _stable_. I can't keep waiting for my life to come together because it _never_ will! Maybe being a mother's the best thing I'll ever do. And you – you're _amazing_. I don't just want a baby. I want _your_ baby."

She bit her bottom lip. "But I realize this is unfair to you. If you want me to fuck off, I will. I won't sue for child support. And if you change your mind, that's fine, too. I'll _never_ keep you away from your family."

Insufferably frustrated with her _and_ with himself, he walked out to let his temper cool.

Taking a stroll in San Francisco without money for a coffee or street taco could be tiresome, but the scenery was prettier than any postcard. He decided to head into the center, about three miles away. That would provide him with plenty of time to think about… things he'd rather _not_ be thinking about.

Well, shit.

"Hey! X-Man, is that you?"

He turned as Dani Moonstar approached, smiling widely.

She lightly punched his shoulder and said, "What're _you_ doing here?"

"I live here. And you?"

"Same! Actually, the team – we're all here. Just a couple blocks up. Would you like to see everyone?"

No, but he'd rather visit her team than think about a potential pregnancy, so he said: "I believe I have time for that."

Dani's team, the New Mutants, was based on Mission Street. Crammed into two apartments were Magma, Sunspot, Cypher, Warlock, and the sunny leader herself. There was enough sexual tension and harmless banter to warrant a live audience. It would be like a more vanilla version of the '90s sitcom "Friends", if it were possible to make that show anymore droll. Cyclops had charged the New Mutants with "tying up loose ends", and they were currently tracking Clarice Ferguson, better known as Blink.

"Since you're already here," Dani said, "Why don't you help us? The team's not set in stone, you could always join if you like."

And _further_ off-set the male to female ratio of the team? How very X-Manish of her to assume everyone wanted to be an X-Man. No way Cyclops paid better than Grey  & Grey! He probably deduced living expenses straight from their paychecks, too. The unelected mutant president could be quite the miser.

Nate rejected Dani's offer, but the more he considered it, the more appealing it sounded. Assuming he could live off-campus, of course. Working with a team again would be a refreshing change of pace. Ray still hadn't returned from Utopia and he couldn't manage the tasks she usually handled: bookkeeping, client follow-ups, advertisements... Plus, and this was the most important part – it would thaw 'On's icy perception of the X-Men. Nate didn't want to have to choose between them, and the longer he was with her, the more it felt like he'd done exactly that.

After he departed Mission Street, he continued his stroll and telepathically called his sister. She said the situation on Utopia was still very tense. She wanted to stay and work toward unity, but honestly, Emma made life very difficult. Ray said she monopolized their father and made his decisions without consulting the others. If there was a schism, she wasn't sure she could stay. The more she saw, the more she disagreed with how Cyclops ran things. And it broke her heart that he sided with Emma against her _every time_. When Nate said he was considering assisting the New Mutants, Ray encouraged him, but he suspected she only wanted him involved so they could gang up against Emma.

He wouldn't do that.

Sure, Emma was domineering and obnoxious and her outfits were the biggest reason no one respected Utopia, but she made Cyclops happy. She gave him enormous comfort that his even his own kids couldn't provide. As much as it hurt him, Nate wouldn't begrudge his father that. The man deserved _some_ happiness in his life.

He decided to call him.

Unlike Ray and Emma, who were sharp telepaths and quickly answered Nate's calls, Cyclops had heavy mental defenses. It was like walking through a fog towards a very distant light. When he finally got through, his father was relieved to hear from him. He practically begged Nate to help Dani, which was a pleasant surprise, and then recommended he join the new X-Force.

"I can't trust Wolverine anymore, and X-23 needs a break before she has a mental breakdown. So I'm reconfiguring the team. It'll mean relocating and the work's dirty, but I need people I can _trust_."

Nate was stunned. "Relocating where?"

"Northern California. It's a sparsely populated area called Modoc County."

"Wine country?"

He scoffed. "You _wish_."

While trying to describe the place, Nate saw memories of evergreen forests, snow-capped mountains, and unfenced ranches. The sort of place _he'd_ loved to be… with Madelyne or Jean or some soft-spoken woman who'd be happier raising his brood than commanding the Mutant Alamo in white satin hot-pants.

Nate realized his father _did_ love him. He _was_ proud of him. They could never undo all the injustices dealt to them, but he was offering a team, an unspoiled place to raise a family, and his approval. What more could he want? And really, what more could _any_ father give than the chance to have a better life?

"Wow, that's… I don't know what to…" Nate coughed to cover the break in his voice. "Let me think it over."

Scott cleared his throat. "Please do. I think – sorry, I've gotta run."

* * *

"You look absurd," 'On said when he showed up at the gym with a dozen pink balloons.

"I hope I knocked you up," he said, pushing back the balloons as they drifted between them. "There's no pre-made celebratory card for that and flowers are expensive."

She laughed. "Why pink?"

"I hope it's a girl."

Her eyes misted over. "No you don't. All men want sons."

"Sons are better when they have a big sister. And if it's a girl, we can call her Jeanie."

She pulled him into the bathroom and had her way with him. The balloons escaped into the high, industrial ceiling. Now that they were having bare, baby-making sex, he wanted to always be with her. Sadly, life got in the way.

Despite his original intentions, he moved in with Dani's team on Mission Street. 'On moved in with Ray (who was rarely home anyway) and they saved the money that would've gone towards rent. He hoped to have enough for a down payment on a house by the time they relocated to Modoc County. Real estate was much cheaper there than San Fran, but that hadn't been enough to convince 'On. They were city folk. What would they do on a ranch? And why did Cyclops want them so far from the capital? Nate replied that the ranch wasn't for _them_ , it was for their unborn children. So they could run and explore and be safe from cars and kidnappers. As for being isolated, that was _exactly_ what they wanted if-and-when Utopia was finally destroyed.

"No one wants to admit it, but we – _mutants_ – are on the brink of extinction. Our biggest threat could be a pathogen, manufactured monster, extraterrestrial, or war with humanity. Cities provide a clustered target and far from safety in numbers, they will find competition for resources. We must learn to rely on the land. Then, if extinction comes, it will be on _our_ terms."

* * *

 _Strapped down, he couldn't escape the instruments that sliced and burned him. The captors were too hideous to face. One glance in their eyes branded him with a terror he'd never known. If he looked too long, he would go mad. They knew this. Tormenting him was their chief pleasure; they knew every way to hurt and frighten him._

 _Tonight they had a new tool – a needle that burrowed in his skin and crawled around, breaking open veins and chipping away bones._

 _Acutely hyper-focused, his telekinesis broke his binds and ripped out the needle. He flew out the dungeon, fled their dimension, and drew near his sleeping form._

" _Where are you going?" asked a detached voice._

 _He felt 'On nearby but couldn't see her._

" _Come back," said the voice. "Come back here or we'll come for_ _ **her**_ _…"_

 _Furious tears streamed down his face as he turned away from freedom. Back into the embrace of pain._

* * *

"Don't you ever sleep?" Dani asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

He quickly banished the urge to punch her perpetually-jubilant face. The less she knew, the more work they'd do, the quicker he could return to his human dream-catcher. So he forced a smile.

"Thought I'd try reaching Blink telepathically," he said. "No such luck."

Cypher, real name Doug, joined them. "You telepaths are a one-trick pony."

"What did your _magical_ _linguistic skills_ uncover?"

" _Guys_ ," Dani said with faux-displeasure, "We're all in this together, okay?"

Aw hell, they thought he fancied her and the tension was based on sexual frustrations. Was it so hard to believe he was frustrated with Doug's stupid face? _Doug_. That was something a dog did, not a man's name.

Cypher smirked proudly. "Actually, I did discover something. Look at this – every time Blink surfaces, it corresponds with a natural disaster. The earthquake in Japan, the tsunami in Taiwan, the wildfires in North Carolina…"

"She can't be the cause," Nate said. "Her powers are teleportation, not element manipulation."

"Since her resurrection, we don't know _what_ she's capable of," Cypher arrogantly replied. He sounded like that Muppet who spoke unintelligible peeps.

"Let's give her the benefit of doubt," said Dani. "She's an X-Man, first and foremost. _That's_ why we're tracking her. To bring her home, not lock her up."

Nate swallowed a yawn. "You ever think she doesn't _want_ to return? She knows where Utopia is. Everyone does."

Their sunny leader turned serious. "She needs _help_. Ever since Selene brought her back, she hasn't been herself. Blink is _more_ than capable, but everyone needs a home. They need friends. Otherwise, a mutant in the wrong place at the wrong time could spark a fire we don't need right now."

They sat quietly for a moment before Doug's phone pinged.

"Flood in Texas," he said.

Dani leapt to her feet and fearlessly led them to the site. They arrived in time to catch Blink, who proclaimed her innocence. The disasters were incited by a rock band with magical powers. They were only a fraction of an entity and by playing, they were attempting to break down the walls between dimensions to reunite with their missing parts. She'd been following them for nearly a year. The addition of the New Mutants helped defeat the hapless villains and afterwards, Blink refused to return to Utopia.

"We only want what's best for you," Dani argued.

She scoffed. "Best for _me_? You left me to an eternity of torment!"

Nate's ears perked.

"We thought you were dead," said Dani. "If we'd known you were trapped between dimensions-"

"Tortured every _moment_! Every _day_! _For years!_ For _no_ reason!"

"-we would've come for you! Please believe that. We would never leave you behind. _I_ would never leave you. I can't go back, but – let me try to make things right now."

Nate slipped into her mind and saw Blink's memories. She, too, had been taken by the hideous things that lived between time and space. They were _real_. They were waiting for him. And if he didn't submit… they'd come for 'On.

…

 _To Be Continued…_

…

 **Author's Notes:** I wasn't a fan of the 'New Mutants' run with Nate… In case you couldn't tell…


	7. Exit Nate

**Chapter Seven: Exit Nate (or Death of The King)**

"Clarice refused to come back," Nate told Cyclops and Emma. "But vigilantism seems therapeutic for her. I wouldn't recommend further action."

Emma nodded, fingers crossed daintily over her naked knees. Her blue eyes focused on his every word. Blink had been her former student, after all, but Scott nodded and turned back to his desk.

While Nate was hunting Blink, Utopia had suffered from yet another crisis. The Hellfire Club – now controlled by pre-pubescent maniacs – attacked. Cyclops fought back. More accurately, he sent Hope and her peers to fight back as he was still busy fighting vampires. "Fight someone your own size", right? _Wrong!_ said Wolverine. The grumpy Canadian decided to rehabilitate the Hellfire kids at a new school in New York. He was calling it 'The Jean Grey School for Higher Learning', and roughly half the X-Men were leaving Utopia for New York.

"I know how occupied you are," Nate began.

Cyclops stopped and sighed. "Are you joining Logan, too?"

He knew his father had taken Ray's decision to leave personally, but it had more to do with Emma and Jean than Cyclops.

"No, I don't think I'd make a good teacher. I have no problem striking children and neither do our enemies. That's fantasy to think he's _protecting_ them."

Scott smirked. "Glad to hear it."

He took a deep breath, "But I need help."

In a flood, he confessed everything. How he'd been inadvertently drifting in his sleep for months now; how he'd gone to Rachel for help and accidentally pulled 'On into their world; how he'd lost and regained his powers; how her memories had been altered; how they'd fallen in love; and finally, how he'd been drifting again… To darker realms.

"I wasn't worried until Blink said she'd been there, too. Whatever lives there, it has _real_ power. Its sole purpose is to inflict suffering, and when I resisted, it threatened to break free and harm 'On. I've been subjecting myself, but I fear the day will come when _I_ will no longer suffice. If it follows me home, there's no way of knowing the damage."

They were silent for several heartbeats. Then, Cyclops said, "Em, you got this?"

"Naturally." She turned to Nate. "First, has Rachel been involved?"

"No. I – I thought it would be better if she didn't know."

"How much power do you have in this other dimension? Telepathy? Telekinesis?"

"My power isn't the problem. The problem is their abilities exceed my own. They can do things I've never _seen_ , never _heard of_ before."

Emma shook her head. "If they had that sort of power, they wouldn't have to _threaten_ you. _You_ hold the power. And we're not going to run away or ignore them. That's what Rachel would do, but I don't take kindly to _anyone_ who hurts my kids." She touched her temple.

It was hard to be afraid with Emma fighting in his corner. They slipped into the darkness and let the demons flock around them before they unleashed hell. He thought she was fighting with him, but when he turned around, he realized she'd only been watching. She'd been right. He could've stopped them all along. Whatever pain those monsters inflicted on him was returned a hundred-fold, and he returned with bitter tears in his eyes. How much suffering had been caused by _his_ inaction?

She wiped his chin and remarked: "Poor Wolverine thinks he bagged the superior telepath."

* * *

'On's period arrived right on time. She wasn't pregnant after all. They decided to keep trying and in the meanwhile, he focused on his training, which he should've never quit.

Blaming Ray wasn't fair. Nor could he fairly blame 'On for keeping him from Utopia. No, it was his own damn fault he'd lost focus, and he determined to re-dedicate himself. Twice a week, the New Mutants trained in the Danger Room, and once a week, he met with Danny. It was obvious his strength and ability had vastly improved… But then, the uber-powerful X-Men weren't around to show him up.

Ray moved to New York. She was going to be a senior staff member at the Jean Grey School, which complicated things enormously. They decided not to dissolve Grey & Grey, but who knew when they'd ever reunite? And she said she wasn't bitter… but she kind of was. Hope and Nate sided with Cyclops, so she'd be going alone. But if she didn't want the family to fracture, why was _she_ fracturing it?! And where was 'On going to live now? Dani wasn't wild about the idea of them screwing in the office, and honestly, neither was he.

Once again, he brought up Utopia. 'On tearfully accused him of trying to kill her – unaware he didn't know why – but this time he forced himself to sit through it. When she calmed, he gently pushed again, and she explained.

"It was supposed to be a new beginning… We were supposed to be _safe_ … They never even _warned_ us. People just vanished. They took-" her bottom lip trembled. "They took Yuri. And then they came for me… I can't remember all of it, only bits and pieces. I remember hiding underground and hearing them breakdown the floor. Teeth and claws and shouting… They shook me like a rag doll. I thought I was going to die, they'd rip me in two… Then nothing. I woke up in a hospital missing a leg."

Okay, so she didn't blame the X-Men directly – just Utopia. And by extension, the X-Men. But this was something he could work with.

"I'd never let anything bad happen to you," he said.

"They didn't catch them all," she replied. "Predator X. It's still out there. They hibernate underground and come out when they're hungry. Now that it's had a taste of me, _I'm_ what it wants. I _know_ it."

"No, that's not true. The X-Men destroyed them _and_ the lab they came from. Think about it, if Predator X survived, wouldn't the _entire island_ be gone by now? Look, I know it's easy to think _you_ were the catalyst, but that's the trauma talking. That's not reality."

She shook her head.

"Please trust me," he said. "I need to be there and Utopia needs me. And I need _you_ , so please… _trust me_. I will keep you safe."

* * *

As always, his fuck-ups became immediately apparent.

As soon as they arrived in Utopia, people began talking about how much her eyes resembled Gambit's. Luckily, Gambit was in New York with Wolverine and the others (seeing him might've triggered her real memories), but it was obvious no one had ever seen her before… Which didn't make sense because she'd supposedly lived here once. When they realized she had amazing combat skills, they tested her in the Danger Room, where her kinetic powers activated "for the first time". Everyone knew mutant powers came before a mutant's third decade – usually _way_ before. How had she been unaware of this ability for so long? The final nail in the coffin was Yuri. Turns out, Yuri was Uri, and _he_ (not she) had been Nate's friend for years. How could he forget all that?

"Ray must've implanted fail-safes," he speculated to Hope. "Whenever she gets too close to the truth, she gets suddenly distracted."

Hope showed him how to breakdown and clean a laser rifle. "Then _you_ need to remove them."

"Easy for you to say. You don't know it's like to lose someone you love."

Her eyes flashed. " _What_ did you say?!"

When he realized what he'd said, he apologized. Hope had lost her father, Cable, when they returned from the future. It had been terribly traumatic and he was an asshole for forgetting about it (Cable wasn't _his_ father, after all), but losing a loved one to death wasn't the same thing as losing them to broken trust. _That_ was the loss he spoke of.

She huffed. "You know what you're doing, don't you?"

"With the gun? Clearly not."

"You're _controlling_ her. What did Danny tell you? Remove fear, desire, and anger from the equation. You've done _none_ of that."

"You heard that?"

"It's sound advice… It's something my dad would've said."

He was silent for a long time. Finally, he agreed. "But if this goes badly, I'm coming to _you_."

"I'll be ready with ice-cream and Adele. Apparently, that's the break-up custom of this age."

But that conversation never happened. As he crossed the campus, the Phoenix was re-born and every telepath in the universe felt it. This endangered the world, which Nate used as an excuse to postpone doing something he didn't want to do. It was easier to screw her and tell himself they still had a future together. But he caught her sometimes giving him a dark and puzzled look, as if she wanted to clobber him. He asked what was wrong, and instead of bitterly retorting "nothing", her face transformed so swiftly that he thought her bad temper was a figment of his imagination.

The Avengers came for Hope, who was positively pitiful standing up to them. Her tiny fist couldn't cover the star on Steve Rogers' chest. Luckily, the X-Men were prepared to keep her safe – by any means. Iron Man broke the Phoenix Force into five pieces, but rather than disperse, it selected five hosts: Cyclops, Emma, Namor, Magik, and her brother Colossus. It was the lucky break mutant-kind needed.

They stabilized Utopia and left Nate in charge while they saved the world from itself.

"Whatever you need," Cyclops said, "Just ask. It's important for Utopia to flourish."

"Relax. I've got everything under control here."

" _Everything_? Really?"

"Well, besides Hope. She's struggling with feelings of insignificance since the Phoenix passed her over." He saw concern and added, "Don't be alarmed. She's sixteen. This isn't an uncommon reaction to rejection. She will cope."

"This power… She couldn't handle it."

"True, but I can't imagine she'd be pleased to hear it. See you tomorrow?"

Scott nodded and vanished.

Nate gathered his notes from his desk and felt something cold and smooth press against the back of his neck. Lightning shot through him. As his telepathy weakened to nothing, he realized his attacker's body carried two lives. He hadn't even heard the door open! Disoriented, he was lifted bodily from his chair. Those breasts, that arm, those hands: he knew 'On in an instant. As she pressed a gun to his head and pushed him outside, he desperately tried to defuse the situation.

Gun ready, Hope said: "I've got a clear shot."

"No! She's pregnant."

Hope's murderous intent melted away. "Congratulations!"

They made quite the scene – gun pointed at his head as 'On dragged him to the docks. She stole a boat and they rode out towards San Francisco. When the bridge came into view, she killed the engine. It was quiet, still early, and fog obscured the coast. As water gently lapped against the vessel, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Well, them and the Dreaming Celestial parked on the bank like a robotic lighthouse. It arrived years ago. No one knew where it came from, why it was here, or when it would leave. It just was.

Nate felt calmer looking at the iron behemoth. If she'd brought him here to kill him, at least _someone_ would know.

"Who are you?" she finally asked.

"You know who I am. Nate Grey."

"No you're not. You wear his face and you took his life, but you're not Nate." She pointed her gun. "So I'll ask once more. Who are you?"

"Did you ever think maybe _you're_ the odd one?"

Her shoulders dropped. "You've been messing with my head… _My_ Nate wouldn't do that!"

"Your Nate's dead. Everyone who knew you six months ago, too. When you realized you couldn't save them, you tried to kill yourself." He paused. "So I erased your memories." No point throwing Ray under the bus when he was just as guilty.

"But I _remember_ -"

"You remember a lie. That's all. Please give me the gun."

The weapon dropped to her side and she turned away. Her body racked with sobs and he realized the only way to save her from her grief now was to distract her.

"I _wanted_ to tell you," he said. "That's why I brought you here. You would've thought I was crazy if I told you all at once."

"You made me love you."

"No! No, that wasn't me."

"So it's just _luck_ that _you_ erased my memories and I _happened_ to fall for you?! You took _everything_!"

He _wanted_ to act wisely, but the truth was she drove him crazy. If he could've cut out his heart to prove his sincerity, he would have. Her eyes – accusatory and spiteful – were slowly doing it for him.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not enough, but I _never_ lied about my feelings for you. Our bond, it's not something _I_ made up or _you_ imagined. It's _real_ and you _know_ it is!"

" _You sick fuck_ ," she sneered.

At that point, he would've welcomed a blast to the head.

They heard the distant hum of a plane and then the Helicarrier emerged from the fog.

"The Avengers!" He realized. "They've come for Hope!"

He pushed her aside and steered the boat back to Utopia. They couldn't possibly outrun the Helicarrier, and without his telepathy, he couldn't alert the others. 'On looked longingly at the water rushing past, but he couldn't comfort her right now. He had to save people who _wanted_ to live.

Avengers exited Utopia as he ran aground and inertia propelled him onto the island. Sprinting, he shouted in vain as they ascended with Hope. She hadn't put up any resistance this time, and a defense hadn't yet mobilized.

Although it was impossible, he focused all his energy on the rear engine. His powers would still be crippled for another eleven hours (thanks to the neutralizer blast), but he had to try.

 _Breathe. Focus. Relax._

Something inside him stepped out, flew after the Helicarrier and smashed its rear engine. He was back on Utopia. He needed to take out the other rear engine to slow it down.

 _Breathe. Focus. Relax._

Again, the thing inside flew out and ripped the engine to shreds. He did this eight more times until it was dead in the water. Now that they couldn't leave, he needed to warn the island and mobilize a rescue team, but his body was no longer on the island. He kept smashing engines and glancing inside, where scenes repeated like a song on a damaged disc. It felt like time had bottle-necked and couldn't move forward anymore.

' _That is precisely what's happened,'_ the Dream Celestial said.

Nate was pulled onto the fourth dimension, where he watched himself repeat again and again.

"But how did this happen?"

' _Your psionic powers exceeded reality's tolerance. The time flow cannot support it.'_

"I've died before," he reminded himself. "Just like going to sleep…"

He felt himself dissolving away, but there was no glowing light or Jean's comforting omnipresence like last time. He opened his eyes in confusion.

"Okay, so… not dead."

' _Far from it,'_ said the Celestial. _'Welcome, X-Man.'_

They were still on earth, but physical objects were mere ghosts in the distance. Things that had been invisible before – light-waves, gravity, thoughts, and time – now had visible form. He traversed great distances without ever moving. Then he felt something bizarre. It felt like warm, organic cellophane around the universe, and on the other side lurked his nightmarish captors. Or their kind. The mystery of their nature allowed for numbers beyond his previously comprehension.

' _The Exterminators… Foolishly created to balance good and evil. But we could not control them, so the universe was split into many and they were locked in between. The barriers have been weakened by wanderers like you.'_

"It's psionic – the barrier."

' _Affirmative. For years we have monitored sentient humanoids. Your psionic capabilities present the universe's greatest chance for protection. Will you render your services as Gatekeeper? To uphold the divide between order and disorder?'_

The hero in him accepted immediately, but one didn't assist a cosmic immortal without setting terms.

"If I do this, can you promise me she'll be alright? Not just alive, but sheltered and fed and happy."

' _Happiness is a subjective definition that cannot be-'_

"Okay, then alive with all her basic needs met."

' _Agreed. In exchange, we remove all memory of the man you were.'_

"Don't want it known that 'the great and mighty Celestials' require the help of a mere _mutant_?"

' _Humans are social creatures. Bonds do not break with time or distance and weaken the integrity of the Gatekeeper.'_

"You've recruited before… What happened? Did they go insane?"

The Celestial didn't respond. Nate realized he could never return to his body – it had dissolved. He could haunt the world and hope to one day return. Like Maddie. Or he could move forward: protect the universe and guarantee the safety of the woman he loved and their child.

It was no choice at all.

…

 _To Be Continued…_


	8. Desire

**Chapter Eight: Desire (or It's a Powerful Thing)**

Becoming the Gatekeeper wasn't a dramatic man-to-werewolf transformation. It was kind of like wrapping himself in a universe-sized blanket. The ceaseless press of the Exterminators was unnerving at first, but after a while, it became a comfort. The monsters were out _there_ , not in _here_. It was easy to follow those unwitting souls pulled through and when they returned home, the Gatekeeper sealed up every crack and mouse hole behind them. Then there were the _willing_ souls – superheroes who "needed" to travel to another dimension. It wasn't easy to meet his old friends as strangers. They weren't happy about the new middleman, either. Who was _he_ to decide whether or not their missions warranted interdimensional travel?

He usually let them pass if he could extract some favor. The Phoenix Five were deteriorating, so would Xavier persuade Cyclops to reject it? Ray wasn't safe in New York, so could the Shi'ar station a solider there full-time? He asked for a few favors for 'On – but she rejected them. She didn't want a winning lotto ticket or a mansion in San Francisco. She wanted _freedom_.

At some point, they'd managed to conceive – an event she couldn't explain, since she had no memory of him. She watched in horror, he in amazement, as her body ripened with his child. She lost her jobs, took up drinking, and was practically a prisoner on Utopia. Mutant babies were too valuable to abort – no matter what the mother wanted. Every kind thing he sent, she threw away. She was determined to self-destruct and since he could do nothing, he turned away. It was too painful to watch.

* * *

The wall had been breached. It wasn't a quiet, easily missed crack, either. Grappling hooks pierced the fabric and then ripped it down, tearing open an enormous freeway into the universe. Nate rushed to the scene – completely unprepared. Tens of thousands of red-fanged monsters darkened the blue and green orb of earth. He followed faster than the speed of light, expecting a slaughter of the unsuspecting planet, but they slipped past SWORD, past planes, skyscrapers, and cars. No one registered their invasion and they touched nothing – until _him_.

Emplate held the corpse of his latest victim, still sucking marrow from her bones. He was a horrid sight. The mountainous mutant was covered in wild black hair, his face concealed by a respirator. When he saw the monsters – _he_ saw them – he begged for more time. Too late. He was still gulping when they sank their claws into his shoulders and back and ripped him away with a slurp.

Nate had an instant to act.

He created a psionic copy of Emplate, shoved it into the fray, and extracted the mutant. The copy was so good that even _it_ didn't know it wasn't real. They took the bait and retreated the way they'd come.

Why had Nate been so vulnerable? Complacency. It wouldn't happen again.

"You – who are you?"

He reviewed the vampire and realized it was useless to him. Emplate wasn't Shi'ar or SWORD or an X-Man… he corrupted _everything_ he touched. It was hard to condemn a life to that black Hell, but if _anyone_ deserved it, he did.

Nate said: "I didn't protect you because you're innocent. I did it because you're weak. Think about _that_ next time you're hungry."

Then he rushed off to repair the massive freeway crushing his wall.

The Celestials were waiting.

" _Gatekeeper. We have words."_

"You think I don't know? This looks bad. It won't happen again."

" _You interacted in a social manner. This was strictly forbidden."_

"I said _two words!_ I haven't _exposed_ anything."

" _You created a sentient humanoid. This will not be tolerated again. Life has been carefully created and cultivated for countless millennia. Your interference could jeopardize life in this universe."_

"The only thing I'm interested in creating now is a patch. If you aren't going to help, beat it."

His universe wasn't a small, dying town riddled with violence. Sometimes he received people, too. And _sometimes_ they weren't even blood-thirsty superbeings… Like the beautiful ambassador called Sage, who transported refugees from dying planets or collapsing realities. As much as he _wanted_ to help, he had a universe to protect. Every exchange weakened the barrier. Sometimes it was a soft 'no', sometimes it was a firm one, but his response was always 'no'.

Until she learned to bargain.

"I hear you have a soft spot for the X-Men," she said. "Let me pass and I'll help them anyway I can."

He admitted her spaceship carrying 1513 souls. "Go to the Jean Grey School in Salem Center and tell Rachel Grey there's been a baby born in Utopia. It's a member of the Summers family and she needs to find it before it's too late."

She solemnly crossed her heart and led her people to the SWORD refugee station. He didn't think her heroic. If he'd told her to kill that baby, she would have.

* * *

Fortifying the barrier of reality was even _less_ fun that collecting dog shit on a rainy day. If monsters wanted to break in, they'd find a way. If bored witches wanted to break out, they'd break out. Once that happened, he couldn't chase, attack, or warn anyone. _Gatekeeper_. That's all he was.

He erected razor-sharp space distortions. If anyone got beyond that, they fell into a world of madness and chaos. Beyond that, the Exterminators. Let the puny mortals conquer _that_!

* * *

Inevitably, Ray came for answers. He cloaked himself, even though she wouldn't remember him. To her, he appeared as a hunched back, hooded old man.

"So that _baby_ you sent me after…" she said. "Care to explain?"

"Were you successful?"

She put her hands on her hips. "I asked first."

"I don't understand what you don't understand."

"We've done paternity tests on every branch and twig of the Summers family. They've all come back close but no dice. What _don't_ we know?"

"That child's going to be important," he said. "Do all you can to protect it."

She studied his projection, telepathically searching for answers but finding none. "I wonder how you know so much and yet so little."

"I wish I could say more, Starchild, but even _**I**_ don't see everything. Even I have to answer for my actions… I've said too much already. Farewell."

"Wait! I still don't know-"

Stupid sister.

He'd been in her place before and he knew she thought he'd been intentionally unhelpful. She'd challenged him, forced him to tip his hand… Now the Celestials would accuse him of being _social_. Would they kill her? Erase _his_ memories, too? Another warning seemed unlikely.

Scanning Utopia for a familiar face, he found Magneto and created a psionic copy to go investigate. But as before, this duplicate didn't know he was a copy and had _zero_ interest in finding a baby. The island was sinking. Evacuation was the best course of action, and he was occupied keeping his failed dream afloat long enough to get everyone ashore. Then he was discovered. Before he killed his clone (oops), someone said all the civilians were safe. _Surely_ that included the baby..?

Ominously, the Celestials were silent. If Nate was going to feel their wrath, by God, he would _earn_ it.

He sent a copy of himself to the Jean Grey School, where some friendly _bamfs_ directed him to Ray in the ladies room.

She screamed when his head popped over the stall divider.

"Where's my child?" he asked.

Her telekinesis threw him across the room. "This is a new low! Attacking an X-Man at a _school_! In the _bathroom_!" She quickly wiped and pulled up her pants.

"I come in peace, Starchild! Sorry for the ambush but I haven't much time. I need to find my kid and its mother and get them to safety… If I can."

She opened the door, tense but not aggressive. "Gatekeeper?"

"I used to be called Nate Grey. We're siblings. I can see your doubt and I realize this is a lot to process, but I haven't got time to coddle you. We're _all_ in danger. Where are they?"

Katherine "Katie" Summers was a happy, pudgy two-month-old baby with bright blue eyes and copper curls. Although Ray was her guardian, in practice, she was passed from X-Man to X-Man during the week.

"Katie's a terrible name," he said. "Who picked it? You?"

Ray scowled. "It _fits_ her! She's named for her godmother, thank you very much, _and_ it's a Summers family name."

At two months, she couldn't move much, but she wanted to. Ray placed her on some sensory overload mat, where she strained to look around. He was suddenly worried he'd accidentally step on her. Or the ceiling would fall. Or she'd get tangled in the mat. He never realized how _dangerous_ the world was!

"Here," Ray said, "Hold her."

"I don't want to – I've never held-"

"She can hold her head up, but no jerky movements 'cause she's still wobbly."

She felt soft and wiggly in his statuesque arms. They looked at each other and – nothing. This could've been anyone's kid. He didn't _love_ her. And she was clearly trying to return to the soft, familiar embrace of her aunt.

"You're a _natural_!" she mocked.

"Where's her mother?"

Her teasing gave way to sorrow. "I don't know. She abandoned Katie at birth. We haven't been able to locate any family."

" _You're_ her family. How many times must I say it?"

"This hasn't been easy, you know. We had to fly her out here, find a doctor, buy a crib, clothes, diapers! I'd never made a _bottle_ before. Do you know you can't make it with tap water? I almost killed her!"

"How else would you make it?"

"You have to boil it. She got sick and I didn't even _notice_ …" She shook her head. "She needs more than I can give her. She needs her _parents_. I love her to death and I do my best but it's not enough."

He looked at the baby in his arms and wondered how something so tiny could be such a burden. "Will you lend me your telepathy? I think we can find her mother if we work together."

It was nearly time for Katie's nap, so Nate fed her a bottle, burped her, and rocked her to sleep. He hadn't wanted to postpone his search, but Ray insisted.

" _This_ is what it's like to have a baby!" she said haughtily. "Everything else waits!"

Damn _Celestials_ wouldn't wait…

They joined hands and synced minds, which was vaguely akin to using Cerebro. Since 'On was last seen in Utopia, they began their search there, but she'd left too long ago to leave tracks. They expanded to San Francisco and slowly moved up the coast. It wasn't promising. As a P.I., he knew a trail this cold usually ended in the graveyard.

' _This is taking forever,'_ said Ray. _'What if we plant a subliminal message in everyone? Not overt – just a passing curiosity about her.'_

' _Are you_ _ **trying**_ _to get her organs harvested?'_

' _Just X-Men, then?'_

They sent out a clear, mass message, and Psylocke immediately replied: _'I found your mark a month or two ago. Chinatown.'_

She was part of the re-tooled X-Force team, which specialized in pre-emptive strikes. When they came across a factory of Omega Prime Sentinels, Betsy and her team did what they did best. They hit first. They hit hard. They left no survivors.

' _She was an exceptional fighter,'_ said Psylocke. _'We're fortunate she was never unleashed in combat or our losses would've been substantial… But I understand that's cold comfort to you.'_

No words scratched surface of what he felt. Misery, sorrow, rage, pain – yes, he felt them all but more than that and deeper, too. It was too much. His pain erupted like a volcano and rained fiery sheets across every atom of the universe. Betsy bore the brunt. Only the combined efforts of Rachel and Psylocke saved her from certain death.

She struck back – instinctively – but his psionic image had vanished.

He would direct his attack at the Celestials. After all, _they_ had promised to keep her safe. _They_ took his name from the world and drove her mad. _They_ would suffer.

Like moths gathering to a light in the dark, they came and surrounded him. Enormous, metallic, and seemingly endless, they presented a formidable sight. But he wasn't afraid. Not anymore.

"You lied to me," he said. "You promised me you'd keep her safe."

" _Her mortality expired. We could not prevent it. Our intervention would have stripped her free will, which is forbidden."_

He scoffed. "Don't give me that bullshit! You play God all the time!"

" _We warned you against forming social bonds."_

Realization swept over him. "Did you… did _you_ kill her?"

" _She ended her own life. We attempted to spare what remained through the Prime Sentinel program. She was destroyed by Psylocke, but her death was inevitable. This knowledge should already be in your possession."_

"You could've stopped her but you didn't."

" _It is animal instinct which blinds you to the truth. You cannot control another. Accept this or be consumed by a hunger you can never quench."_

He throbbed with rage. "If you didn't want an animal, you shouldn't have hired one. Whole goddamn world full of robots willing to sacrifice their existence for the greater good. I'm not one of them. You lied to me so I'd guard your little gate. I know you'd change me if you could. You'd erase my memories like you did everyone else, but you _can't_ … Now you know I'm pissed so you sent an army to 'reason' with me." He looked around as they closed in. "How many are you? Five-hundred? Six? Good, I like a challenge."

They didn't flinch as the Celestial before him was ripped in two. Inside was hollow. He'd always wondered what lurked beneath their mask. As with most gods, they were empty.

"You can't understand the value of something you've never lost," he said gleefully. "Allow me to enlighten you!"

Their return fire crushed him like a mountain but he was able to slip away and reform. They followed. He'd never seen them as anything other than lumbering giants. They were lightning fast. And coordinated. Moving two at a time, they flanked him, closed in, and chased him back into the fray.

' _I'm going to die,'_ he thought coldly. _'_ _ **Finally**_ _. And all it took was five hundred Celestials.'_

Swan-diving, he fell back and splattered on the robotic army. A dozen or more Nates reformed and pierced their armor, sliding inside and smashing his way out again. They swarmed on him. A moving, sentient wall imprisoned him – following wherever he went and constantly rotating damaged units to the back, fresh units to the front. He was spinning, spinning, obliterated and reformed; spinning and spinning again.

He tried to reach over them and climb out of the swarming prison, but every time, they beat him down again. Still, he kept reaching. He reached until someone reached back.

" _ **Don't touch my baby**_ _."_

The Celestials melted away and the universe filled with white light.

So _this_ was death.

" _Jean…?"_

" _I'm here, son."_ She was _his_ Jean from _his_ universe.

" _Mother… I've never called anyone that before."_

" _It's a terrible burden to bear. Leave them. Lay down all your troubles and come home."_

" _I would but… burdens don't vanish when you abandon them. They pass on to others…"_

She smiled sadly. _"Then let me help where I can."_

He'd hoped/expected she'd emerge from the White Hot Room like some cosmic Matrix-Neo with omni-guns a'blazing. Instead, she called a ceasefire and helped negotiate a truce. Really _not_ the climax he wanted, but it was better than being locked in eternal combat with an infinite army.

A year ago, his boat ran aground on the beach of Utopia. The Hellicarrier loomed in the distance and Hope stoically marched towards her fate. Time… Time was against him. Behind him, 'On was crying; ahead, Hope was leaving. Above: the Hellicarrier engines were softly blowing hot air. He had destroyed those engines to rescue Hope, but it had cost his mortal life. Inevitably, it had cost 'On hers, too.

He was here again with the chance to make it right, but could he do it?

"'On, please, we cannot let them take custody of Hope. If we work together-"

She struck in a flash and the world went black. When he awoke, he'd been moved to a hospital cot and judging by the long shadows, several hours had passed. He called out and Rachel appeared, crossword puzzle tucked under her arm.

"Hey there, tiger. How you feeling?"

"Cut the chat. Where's Hope?"

She looked away.

"And 'On?"

"H-Hank doesn't want-"

He swung his feet out but she (and the IV) stopped him from fleeing. Frustrated, he looked in her eyes and saw the truth. 'On had remained on Utopia to receive an abortion, which had already been administered. _No_. No, this wasn't real. His sweet, happy little girl with bright blue eyes wasn't lost forever. He could re-create her.

A year ago, his boat ran aground on the beach of Utopia. The Hellicarrier loomed in the distance and Hope stoically marched towards her fate. Time… Time was against him. Behind him, 'On was crying; ahead, Hope was leaving. Above: the Hellicarrier engines were softly blowing hot air.

"Sorry, hun," he said after he knocked 'On unconscious.

The first time this happened, he didn't realize he could reclaim his powers whenever he wanted, so he'd given it everything he had and reality rejected him. Now he knew better. Telepathically, he summoned the Phoenix Five, who promptly destroyed the Hellicarrier and everyone on it – expect Hope. Bits of burning bodies dropped on the sand.

Well, shit.

A year ago, his boat ran aground on the beach of Utopia. The Hellicarrier loomed in the distance and Hope stoically marched towards her fate. Time… Time was against him. Behind him, 'On was crying; ahead, Hope was leaving. Above: the Hellicarrier engines were softly blowing hot air.

" _Nate… Honey…"_

Reclaiming his telepathy, he erased the Avenger's memories. He made them _worship_ the Phoenix. And Hope? She'd seen the errors of her ways. 'On, too, was happy to live with him, and she quickly forgave Rachel. It wasn't easy, controlling these strong-willed women, but he gave them a happy family life. They'd appreciate him one day. In the meanwhile, he resurrected Jean and made Scott realize he still loved her. Ray was pleased, at least.

" _Oh, come now…"_

One day 'On slipped free, and in a minute, was dead in the ocean. Seven months pregnant. He fished her out and held her close, wondering where he'd gone wrong. Hadn't he loved her enough? Hadn't he given her everything?

" _No,"_ Jean said, _"You didn't love her enough to let her be free."_

" _I just wanted… I wanted…"_

" _Her?"_

" _ **Us**_ _. I wanted us to be a family."_

She swallowed her disappointment and asked, _"Are you done playing with reality? Because the Celestials are prepared to release you from your isolation. In return, they want you to maintain your role as Gatekeeper."_

" _Be two places at once?"_

" _You can do it."_

The Celestials couldn't give him what he _really_ wanted – 'On, alive and happy. Nor would he give what _they_ truly wanted: blind devotion. So they each accepted what they could get. Nate would serve as Gatekeeper but he was free to return to earth and indulge those pesky 'social bonds'. As his overlords faded, he thanked her profusely.

" _You could've done it without me,"_ she said. _"After all, you were doomed to eternal combat. An eon… maybe two… I'm sure you would've considered reconciling."_

He watched his hands flex. _"I'm finally free. I can go anywhere, do anything. All I wanted was…"_

" _You still have a family, my lamb. But some of us are unseen… And the picture looks a little odd. Doesn't mean we're not a family."_

A year ago, his boat ran aground on the beach of Utopia. The Hellicarrier loomed in the distance and Hope stoically marched towards her fate. Time… Time was against him. Behind him, 'On was crying. This was the last time they'd see each other. Nothing he could say would make things right between them, and anyway, she didn't want to "make things right". This was where their paths separated.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I love you."

 _Breathe. Focus. Relax._

…

 _End of Part One_

…

 **Author's Notes:** Nate's story is far from over. Originally, I planned to end  this story at this point and continue his tales in a separate story. However, he's now so far removed from cannon that the sequel wouldn't make sense without all this information… So it's going to be included as "Part Two". That may take a while. Nate isn't a popular character and since he's mostly involved behind the scenes or outside a team setting, he isn't traditional "X-Men" material at all. Thanks to everyone for sticking with this strange little man! Please let me know what you enjoyed or didn't.


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